Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?
Studying abroad has become increasingly common in the
last
few years, especially for young people from countries such
as China and India. Many students
and their families clearly consider the experience worth the sacrifices involved. The former often give up friendships when they move abroad; the latter often use their life savings. Moreover
, many governments are willing to invest huge sums of money in sponsoring their young people to study in universities overseas. However
, this
has drawbacks as well as
benefits for those concerned.
First of all, it is worth considering culture shock. When international students
move to a new environment, particularly a strange country, it’s very hard to adjust instantly to the local customs and social norms. They might be led to a flurry of emotions, including excitement, anxiety, confusion and uncertainty. For instance
, one of the major situations in America that every foreign student has to face is health service. Honestly, the cost of the health care system can be unexpectedly high. If you live in Chicago city and want to call an ambulance in case of emergency, you have to pay three thousand dollars. Furthermore
, the services of the hospital such
as diagnosis, medicine and facilities will make their bill expensive.
Another factor to consider is safety and security risks abroad. Language, culture and local laws can be barriers to which students
might not have immediate assistance. They may be seen as an easy target for theft or other crimes. Moreover
, security issues in each country are different. If you are an Asian student and study in a Western country, you will be surprised because of gun laws. Shooting cases are always a painful problem.
Nevertheless
, studying overseas opens the door to a world of new possibilities. It makes sure that foreign students
can cope with a lot of issues and emotional damage. But when they overcome and get more experience, the advantages of living and learning in a new culture will impact all parts of their life. Studying abroad is an excellent way to advance oneself and widen one’s horizons. On balance, the drawbacks do not outweigh the benefits.Submitted by ieltsamiedu on
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task achievement
You have presented a well-rounded argument and have included both benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad, which is essential for a balanced discussion. However, be careful with the accuracy of your details. For example, the statement about ambulance costs in Chicago might not be universally accurate and could use a citation or more general phrasing.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that can be improved for better clarity. For instance, rewriting the sentence 'They might be led to a flurry of emotions...' could make it stronger.
coherence cohesion
Conclusion can be slightly expanded to reiterate your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively introduced and concluded your essay, laying out the key points succinctly.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like health care costs and gun laws, does a good job of illustrating your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.