Artists need a certain amount of freedom to develop their creativity. Some people think that artists should have total freedom to express any thoughts and ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Each professional requires
freedom
in order to enhance their skills. Artists
should not feel limited in order to foster their creative abilities. Some individuals contend that artists
should be given complete freedom
, enabling them to express any thought without boundaries. Nonetheless
, I firmly disagree due to
the risk of artists
promoting violent messages
and damaging public properties for personal vendettas.
Artists
collaborate with gang members to incite violent messages
. For instance
, graffiti in mall parking lots in Delhi, India has hate messages
against minority populations. This
leads to young members of society being exposed to aggressive ideas early on, which is detrimental to their developing minds.
Furthermore
, to propagate such
messages
, artists
destroy public buildings. To exemplify, in many countries, such
as India, famous monuments like the Red Fort are covered with paintings. This
results in the erosion of culture as historical buildings are not preserved.
While
some people contend that more freedom
can aid artists
in developing unique ideas or paintings. If such
unique paintings gain worldwide attention, it can benefit the economy of the country due to
the increased number of tourists. For example
, millions of tourists flock to the Louvre Museum located in Paris to admire the Mona Lisa, increasing the national revenue of France substantially. Although
artists
have the potential to stimulate economic growth, these occurrences are rare.
In conclusion, despite the popularity some artists
might bring, I reiterate that allowing all artists
full creative freedom
harms the brains of children, as some collaborate with criminals to spread hatred on
marginalized sections of society. Change preposition
in
Moreover
, illegal descriptions on
famous buildings often ruin them, resulting in a significant loss of heritage and culture.Change preposition
of
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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt and covers multiple perspectives. However, make sure to balance your argument by providing examples from both sides when refuting a point, rather than only listing one-sided negative examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure more elaborate connections between paragraphs for smoother transitions. Using more cohesive devices can help make the arguments flow seamlessly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, with a logical structure that facilitates understanding.
task achievement
You used relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are articulated clearly and comprehensively, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
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