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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below shows the international student enrolments at three universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparison where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the international student enrolments at three universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparison where relevant.
#bar #student #enrolments #three #universities #summarise #information #features #comparison
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The graph shows the number of International
students
Use synonyms
 who
study
Use synonyms
 in three universities from five different countries. Most of the International
students
Use synonyms
 are from India and least of them are from Colombia.
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
The University
show examples
 of
Riverview
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one that has more international
students
Use synonyms
 rather than other
universitie
Correct your spelling
universities
. Colombia has sent under 2000
students
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 each
university
Use synonyms
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 India has sent more than 7000 pupils to
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of
Riverview
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 number is doubled rather than
students
Use synonyms
 from Vietnam. The proportion of pupils from Indonesia who
study
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Smithtown
University
Use synonyms
,
University
Use synonyms
 of
Riverview
Use synonyms
,
aand
Correct your spelling
and
 Earlwood
University
Use synonyms
 is proportional which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 1000, 1500, and 1000, respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, International
students
Use synonyms
 from Vietnam are mostly choosing to
study
Use synonyms
 at the
University
Use synonyms
 of
Riverview
Use synonyms
 with
doubled
Correct pronoun usage
its doubled
show examples
 population rather than
vietnam's
Change the capitalization
Vietnam's
show examples
 international
students
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Smithtown
University
Use synonyms
. There are 4000 pupils from
nepal
Change the capitalization
Nepal
show examples
choose
Correct pronoun usage
who choose
show examples
 to
study
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Smithtown
University
Use synonyms
 and Earlwood
University
Use synonyms
 and up to 5000
students
Use synonyms
decide
Verb problem
choose
show examples
 the
University
Use synonyms
 of
Riverview
Use synonyms
 as their decision.
Submitted by rose on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, study, university, riverview with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrolment trends
  • steady increase
  • fluctuating enrolments
  • international student numbers
  • comparative analysis
  • favored choice
  • global economic conditions
  • admission policies
  • program offerings
  • student satisfaction
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