In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
The occurrence of urbanization has
impacts
Wrong verb form
impacted
on
the population in the countryside which Change preposition
apply
are
mostly decided to move to the Unnecessary verb
apply
cities
. Use synonyms
This
development has both negative and positive effects on society. Linking Words
However
, though urbanization has some disadvantages, it is strongly believed that its benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
It is true that life in the Linking Words
city
has a high cost of living and there are several Use synonyms
on-going
issues in the Correct your spelling
ongoing
cities
. For the cost of living, food and housing are more expensive than in the rural Use synonyms
area
. Use synonyms
This
can be compared to the price of similar food in Linking Words
suburbs
and the outskirts Correct article usage
the suburbs
area
, Use synonyms
for
Linking Words
instance
the price of watermelon outside the Add a comma
instance,
city
Use synonyms
area
certainly Use synonyms
have
lower prices compared to the countryside. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
Moreover
, the problems occurring in the Linking Words
cities
Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
the
traffic congestion are faced by the Correct article usage
apply
people
living in the Use synonyms
cities
which could be considered as Use synonyms
one
of the drawbacks of living in the Use synonyms
cities
. Use synonyms
Nevertheless
, the advantages of living in the Linking Words
cities
should not be put down by any chance.
Use synonyms
City
life offers many benefits Use synonyms
such
as job Linking Words
opportunities
Use synonyms
and
convenience in transportation and better medical services. For job Correct word choice
apply
opportunities
, Use synonyms
people
could find more Use synonyms
opportunities
in searching for jobs with high salaries which could improve their standard of living. It can be clearly seen that there are a plethora of leading businesses located in the urban Use synonyms
area
which means Use synonyms
people
living in the Use synonyms
city
could seek better job Use synonyms
opportunities
than living in the countryside. To be more specific, Use synonyms
people
in the legal fields tend to move to the middle of the Use synonyms
city
to get Use synonyms
the
jobs at the leading firms.
Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, there are better Linking Words
transportations
and medical services located in the Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
city
, meaning that Use synonyms
people
can live their Use synonyms
life
more convenient than living in the outskirts Fix the agreement mistake
lives
area
. Use synonyms
City
transportation includes various types of vehicles that can only be seen in the Use synonyms
city
Use synonyms
area
, Use synonyms
for example
, sky train, hi-speed train and Linking Words
electric-bus
. Apart from the transportation, the medical services in the Correct your spelling
electric bus
city
are Use synonyms
one
of Use synonyms
reasons
for Add an article
the reasons
people
to relocate themselves to the Use synonyms
city
. To demonstrate, there are plenty of advanced medical technology which could provide better treatment for the patient in a severe state. Use synonyms
For instance
, Chemotherapy is Linking Words
one
of the advanced technologies for demolishing malignant cancer. Use synonyms
This
technology could be Linking Words
one
of the ways for Use synonyms
people
to live longer.
In conclusion, even though living in the Use synonyms
city
has some disadvantages, it is evident that there are several advantages, causing Use synonyms
people
to relocate themselves to the Use synonyms
city
Use synonyms
area
. Use synonyms
This
development provides positive development for Linking Words
people
in the Use synonyms
city
.Use synonyms
Submitted by pattaraporn.konj on
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task achievement
While the essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear argument, it would benefit from more specific examples and relevant data to support the points made. More precise comparisons could enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
There should be smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. At times, the flow of the essay is slightly disrupted. Improving the use of linking words and phrases can help maintain the reader's engagement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting the argument in a structured manner.
task achievement
The author provides a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of urbanization, showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
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