IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Many
people
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 think that social media helps to make
people
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 more valuable in society. It is completely agreed that social platforms make life easy and quicker, where they can make good relations with their near and dear all over the globe. The main reason is that the social media is very convenient to communicate with friends and family
members
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. Another reason is that with these applications
people
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 make groups and send and receive messages, in a few seconds and keep in touch with their families.
For example
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, if any patient needs blood
due to
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 meet with an accident, the group
members
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 immediately send text messages to their groups and get a response in a few minutes.
For example
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,
people
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 can talk and do video calls with their relatives and friends all over the world in a few minutes and share information.
As a result
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, after the year 2000, the popularity of these websites increased dramatically in all countries. The primary reason is that offices are using these inventions in their offices to send and receive emails, which saves
time
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 and money.
In addition
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, companies are organising toolbox meetings online to save
time
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 and use that
time
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 for production.
Moreover
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, another factor is that group
members
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 get information about their countries
such
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 as news, crime reports and the latest developments.
For instance
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, companies hire staff
members
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 from all over the world and control from their base offices.
In contrast
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, digital technologies reduce face-to-face interactions, where
people
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 have fewer physical connections
instead
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 virtual ones.
To conclude
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, following the analysis of the topic,
it is clear that
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 social platforms decreased physical attraction towards society, where peoples` behaviour changed these days, but to keep up-to-date in
this
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 competitive world and their busy schedules, WhatsApp and Twitter are more beneficial to save
time
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 and keeps in touch with more
people
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 without visiting them.

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task achievement
Make sure to address both sides of the argument to provide a balanced discussion. This will improve the completeness of your response.
task achievement
Try to ensure examples directly support the main points you are discussing for clearer coherence.
coherence cohesion
Strive to connect ideas smoothly within and between paragraphs to enhance logical structure and flow.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
task achievement
You've addressed how technology, particularly social media, facilitates communication and simplifies tasks for people, which responds to the task requirement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social interaction
  • connect
  • communicate
  • video conferencing
  • stay in touch
  • online communities
  • forums
  • like-minded individuals
  • global communication
  • collaboration
  • access to information
  • knowledge
  • bridge the gap
  • social isolation
  • detachment
  • face-to-face communication
  • genuine human connection
  • maintain
  • real-life interactions
  • balance
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