Some people believe that children should stay in school until the age of 18. Others suggest that educating till the age of 14 year is enough. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
It is contended that young people
has
Change the verb form
have
a
different choices through their Correct article usage
apply
education
interest
, some might Fix the agreement mistake
interests
declared
that Change the verb form
declare
be declared
children
should stay in school until the age
of 18 and others said
Wrong verb form
say
in contrast
that education
is fair enough to
14 Change preposition
for
years
old
. Correct word choice
apply
This
essay will elaborate those
perspectives Change preposition
on those
in
both Change preposition
from
point
of view, including the Change to a plural noun
points
age
of 18 or 14 years
.
First and foremost, the age
of 18 is determined as a fair level for children
to study in the
school. Correct article usage
apply
This
age
has considered that young people have a strong, mature, and critical mindset when they are facing the
Correct article usage
apply
real world
problems. If the Add a hyphen
real-world
children
having
the capabilities, they will survive because they have been analyzing a lot of case studies during their Wrong verb form
have
education
processes. For instance
, if two children
have similar intelligence quality (IQ) or emotional quality (EQ) but the older is
more educated Correct pronoun usage
one is
as a result
of his
longer studies, Correct pronoun usage
their
then
they will adapting
easily.
Wrong verb form
adapt
Subsequently
, some might discuss that the younger children
in 14 year
Change to a plural noun
years
has
similar opportunities when facing real Change the verb form
have
problem
. The reason is the capabilities not depends Fix the agreement mistake
problems
in
Change preposition
on
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
age
, but as a result
of children
's understanding during the entire processes
. Fix the agreement mistake
process
Therefore
, if the children
have proper
and deeper understanding, Add an article
a proper
thus
they should not waiting
until their ages Change the verb form
wait
be waiting
reached
18 Wrong verb form
reach
years
.
To conclude
, there can be no doubt that the
Correct article usage
apply
children
Change noun form
children's
education
capabilities are depending
on their understanding and various factors. Some people agree by the Wrong verb form
depend
age
of 18 years
, the children
are determined have
a fair knowledge, but others have said that 14 Add the particle
to have
years
is close enough for children
.Submitted by k a l l a on
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task achievement
Ensure to clearly address all parts of the question. While both views are discussed, the final opinion is somewhat ambiguous. A clearer stance would improve the task achievement.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to substantiate the arguments. Specific, relevant examples enhance the essay's effectiveness and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure of the essay. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly and logically from one idea to the next. Use clear topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Expand on each main point with more detail. Break down complex ideas into simpler components and elaborate on how they contribute to your overall argument.
general advice
There are some grammatical weaknesses that affect the clarity of ideas. Attention to subject-verb agreement, especially in the introduction, and proper use of vocabulary will enhance readability.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showcasing an understanding of multiple perspectives on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion ties back to the main argument, summarizing the discussed points effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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