Many people nowadays decide not to work for a large company but to become self-employed. What problems might this decision cause? What can they do to solve these problems?
These days,
people
Change noun form
people's
preferances
Correct your spelling
preferences
are change
because they like to have Change the verb form
are changed
are changing
own
company Correct pronoun usage
their own
instead
of working for large companies
for
obtain experience. In Change preposition
to
these
Correct determiner usage
this
essay
I will discuss the main issues associated with Add a comma
essay,
this
epidemic and propose some possible solutions to avoid them.
When people
do not work
for large factory
, Fix the agreement mistake
factories
then
not only massive firms but also
countries have big matter
about workers and the economy. Fix the agreement mistake
matters
Firstly
, when new
generation Correct article usage
the new
want
to establish Change the verb form
wants
own
business they do not Correct pronoun usage
their own
work
for other companies
, so after maney
time a lot of job Correct your spelling
a
opportunitey
will be Correct your spelling
opportunities
opportunity
opend
, and these kind of Correct your spelling
opened
open
companies
can not develope
their Correct your spelling
develop
productions
; Fix the agreement mistake
production
moreover
, their profit will decline finally
, the manufacture closed; then
people
who needs these manufacturer have a big problems. Secondly
, the new business needs some factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
such
as money, experiance
, and Correct your spelling
experience
good
Correct article usage
a good
plane
; Correct your spelling
plan
thereaftere
, Correct your spelling
therefore
work
without one of them Wrong verb form
working
is failed
. Most of the new firms have the third item, and they get Wrong verb form
fails
fund
from Fix the agreement mistake
funds
government
for the first one; Add an article
the government
however
, the second one is important and you can obtain it when you work
for large companies
. Finally
, most of these new companies
failed and have
a bad effect on the economy.
Wrong verb form
had
Nevertheless
, every matter have
some Change the verb form
has
sulotions
like these Correct your spelling
solutions
people
who want to found new business must to
Fix the infinitive
apply
work
for large
company for many time and Correct article usage
a large
sent
some good proof for getting Wrong verb form
send
fund
. Fix the agreement mistake
funds
Also
Add a comma
Also,
bige
Correct your spelling
big
firems
must Correct your spelling
firms
firearms
be accept
local firms Change the verb form
accept
on
their company and send some Change preposition
in
work
for it.
In cunclosion
, both large Correct your spelling
conclusion
companies
and government
must Correct article usage
the government
be alter
their opinion and Change the verb form
alter
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
for
avoid these Change preposition
to
kicd
of Correct your spelling
types
problem
.Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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task achievement
Your essay does a commendable job of addressing the problems associated with self-employment and proposing potential solutions. However, there are several areas where clarity and depth could be improved. For instance, your second paragraph could benefit from more organized points and more thorough explanations.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea with clear connections to supporting points. Transition words and phrases can help make your argument flow more smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining your grammar, sentence structure, and vocabulary. This will make your ideas much clearer and help avoid misunderstandings. Consider revising sentences for clarity and eliminating any awkward phrasing.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction does well to set the stage for your discussion, and your conclusion offers a viable wrap-up that reinforces your main points.
supported main points
You provide relevant points about the importance of experience and funding for new businesses, which are critical to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.