Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone's lives. Some people say that advertising is positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views include your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Advertisements
have become more popular because of their impact on businesses by enhancing their marketing.
Then
, many would argue that advertising promotions have impacted positively on humankind and they are necessary in order to promote the sales of cutting-edge designs.
Nevertheless
, I staunchly consider that those campaigns should be controlled and carefully managed. In
this
essay, I will explain my reasons in detail. To
star
Correct your spelling
start
show examples
with, it is
well-known
Correct your spelling
well known
show examples
that advertising is a field that has reached high achievements because it improves the financial projections
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
all
companies
by attracting more population to acquire their products.
As a consequence
of
this
, nowadays, most
companies
are widely known, either nationally
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
internationally.
Then
, all brands create more
campaings
Correct your spelling
campaigns
campaign
in order to be more
appealed
Replace the word
appealing
show examples
and popularize their products by using them,
such
as banners, flyers, online strategies, etc.
For instance
, since McDonalds have created most commercials showing their 'fresh' and 'high-quality' food, they have sold more than 6 billion
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars and their profits have rocketed up to uncharted levels.
Conversely
,
although
advertising
campaings
Correct your spelling
campaigns
have many upsides in the economic field of most factories, there are some stumbling blocks that should be taken into consideration.
Firstly
, designers and
produces
Replace the word
producers
show examples
try to manipulate the content in all promotional messages in order to persuade people and catch their attention.
Secondly
, most
companies
have signed
contract
Fix the agreement mistake
contracts
show examples
with professionals who study people's
behivours
Correct your spelling
behaviour
as well as
traits to focus their sales on a specific type of population.
Consequently
, people might make decisions about buying new products because of the content of the
advertisements
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
of because they really need them.
For instance
, sociologist research
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
proved that most pets'
advertisements
are related to a sentimental meaning in communities.
To sum up
, despite the fact
advertisements
are widely used and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
usage
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
had a positive impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
all
companies
, some features should be taken into account by evaluating their impact on societies and consumerism.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on providing more balanced arguments for both views, expanding on the negative aspects of advertising as well.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion fully encapsulates the main points discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Provide clearer transitions between your arguments to improve the overall flow and readability.
task achievement
You have a strong introduction that captures the task at hand effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with clear distinctions between different parts of the discussion.
task achievement
You provided relevant specific examples, such as the McDonald's advertisement impact, to support your main points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: