Some peole believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
These days,
tourism
industries indeed play a crucial role in society. However
, some believe that culture
will be ruined when nations
gain revenue from tourism
while
others say that tourism
is the only strategy to protect our culture
. This
essay will discuss both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons.
On the one hand, tourism
can affect culture
because people from other countries, do not have any interest to follow
the Change preposition
in following
culture
of nations
where Correct article usage
the nations
visited
. Wrong verb form
visit
This
is, the government only focuses to
Change preposition
on
tourism
in order to earning
a lot of money Change the verb
earn
bitut
foreigners always collapse and ruin our orthodox Correct your spelling
but
culture
values. Replace the word
cultural
For example
, India is a temple country among
the world, Change preposition
in
plenty
of Hindu temples over there and Indians only wear traditional dresses when they go to temples for worship but foreigners do not follow any Change preposition
with plenty
culture
values, they wear modern dresses and shoes inside the temple, Replace the word
cultural
consequently
, it ruins people's cultural and values what they follow from their ancestor periods. Hence
, tourism
should affect culture
.
In contrast
, protecting our culture
without ruining and eliminating tourism
is the only way on the grounds tourists can spread one territory's culture
to other nations
. This
is, many
travellers visit other Rephrase
why many
nations
while
they like to follow their Correct word choice
because
culture
in order to know about the particular nation's history. For instance
, these days, numerous YouTubers visit to
other Change preposition
apply
nations
and follow their rituals and cultural
, Replace the word
culture
then
they post videos in
YouTube, especially, the African continent; wearing Change preposition
on
leaf-baed on
dresses Add a hyphen
leaf-baed-on
along with
welcome rituals also
tourism
only protect
and Correct subject-verb agreement
protects
spread
Correct subject-verb agreement
spreads
to
around the world. Change preposition
apply
Then
, tourism
is the only path to protect culture
.
In conclusion, culture
is of utmost importance in every nation. Although
culture
will be destroyed by earning income from tourism
because all people do not have interest
Correct article usage
an interest
to follow
other Change preposition
in following
countrie's
Change noun form
countries'
culture
, travellers can spread one country's Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
culture
to
around the world through visiting and following. Change preposition
apply
Therefore
, in my opinion, about this
, tourism
is the only path to protect cultures.Submitted by reanudeepan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Some areas of the essay show redundancy, such as repetitive phrases in the introduction and conclusion. Consider revising these parts for more concise expressions.
task achievement
Some grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb tenses and article use, detract from the overall clarity of the essay. Proofreading and practicing grammar exercises can help.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve transitions between ideas. While there are logical connections, smoother transitions would enhance the flow.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the two opposing viewpoints and presents the writer's opinion effectively.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer's opinions.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like the one about India and temples, helps to illustrate the viewpoints and provides tangible context.