Some peole believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#peole #culture #tourism #revenue

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These days,

tourism

Use synonyms

industries indeed play a crucial role in society.

However

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, some believe that

culture

Use synonyms

will be ruined when

nations

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gain revenue from

tourism

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while

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others say that

tourism

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is the only strategy to protect our

culture

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This

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essay will discuss both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand,

tourism

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can affect

culture

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because people from other countries, do not have any interest

to follow

Change preposition

in following

show examples

the

culture

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nations

Correct article usage

the nations

show examples

where

visited

Wrong verb form

visit

show examples

This

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is, the government only focuses

Change preposition

show examples

tourism

Use synonyms

in order to

earning

Change the verb

earn

show examples

a lot of money

bitut

Correct your spelling

but

foreigners always collapse and ruin our orthodox

Use synonyms

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

values.

For example

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, India is a temple country

among

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show examples

the world,

plenty

Change preposition

with plenty

show examples

of Hindu temples over there and Indians only wear traditional dresses when they go to temples for worship but foreigners do not follow any

Use synonyms

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

values, they wear modern dresses and shoes inside the temple,

consequently

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, it ruins people's cultural and values what they follow from their ancestor periods.

Hence

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tourism

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should affect

culture

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In contrast

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, protecting our

culture

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without ruining and eliminating

tourism

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is the only way on the grounds tourists can spread one territory's

culture

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to other

nations

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This

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is,

many

Rephrase

why many

show examples

travellers visit other

nations

Use synonyms

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

because

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they like to follow their

culture

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in order to know about the particular nation's history.

For instance

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, these days, numerous YouTubers visit

Change preposition

apply

show examples

other

nations

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and follow their rituals and

cultural

Replace the word

culture

show examples

then

Linking Words

they post videos

Change preposition

show examples

YouTube, especially, the African continent; wearing

leaf-baed on

Add a hyphen

leaf-baed-on

show examples

dresses

along with

Linking Words

welcome rituals

also

Linking Words

tourism

Use synonyms

only

protect

Correct subject-verb agreement

protects

show examples

and

spread

Correct subject-verb agreement

spreads

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

around the world.

Then

Linking Words

tourism

Use synonyms

is the only path to protect

culture

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. In conclusion,

culture

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is of utmost importance in every nation.

Although

Linking Words

culture

Use synonyms

will be destroyed by earning income from

tourism

Use synonyms

because all people do not have

interest

Correct article usage

an interest

show examples

to follow

Change preposition

in following

show examples

other

countrie's

Change noun form

countries'

show examples

Use synonyms

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

, travellers can spread one country's

culture

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

around the world through visiting and following.

Therefore

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, in my opinion, about

this

Linking Words

tourism

Use synonyms

is the only path to protect cultures.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Wed Jul 03 2024

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task achievement

Some areas of the essay show redundancy, such as repetitive phrases in the introduction and conclusion. Consider revising these parts for more concise expressions.

task achievement

Some grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb tenses and article use, detract from the overall clarity of the essay. Proofreading and practicing grammar exercises can help.

coherence cohesion

Try to improve transitions between ideas. While there are logical connections, smoother transitions would enhance the flow.

task achievement

The introduction clearly outlines the two opposing viewpoints and presents the writer's opinion effectively.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer's opinions.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, like the one about India and temples, helps to illustrate the viewpoints and provides tangible context.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

335 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ruin
preserve
promote
financial support
exploitation
commodification
authenticity
balance
crucial

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Some peole believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Both government and individual are spending vast amount of money protecting animals and their habitats. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is better to more to other countries for greater work and life apportunities. Other argue that it is best to stay in their home country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People living in large cites today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?

Many students find it difficult to learn subjects like mathematics and philosophy and hence they should be optional in schools. Do you agree or disagree?