The charts compare the proportion of male and female students in various age groups who were engaged in full-time and part-time education in Australia in 2006

The charts compare the proportion of male and female students in various age groups who were engaged in full-time and part-time education in Australia in 2006
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The charts compare the proportion of male and female
students
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in various age groups who were engaged in full-time and part-time
education
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in Australia in 2006.
Overall
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, it is clearly indicated that in both genders, the figure for 20-24 aged
students
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engaging in full-time and part-time
education
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was the highest.
Additionally
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, it is
also
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worth mentioning that
while
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part-time
education
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was more
favorable
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favourable
show examples
for all
categories
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, the reverse was true for
students
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aged 30 and above in both genders. Regarding the percentages of male and female
students
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studying part-time
education
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in Australia, the highest percentage was seen among
students
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aged 20-24 participating in part-time
education
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; the percentage was responsible for 40%  for male
students
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,
whereas
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that of female
students
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was 2% more than their male counterparts.
Moreover
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, the percentages of male and female
students
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aged 15-19 were 12% and 17% respectively,
while
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the percentages of other
categories
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were made up fewer than 10%. When it comes to proportions of male and female
students
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studying full-time
education
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in Australia, the highest figure was seen among
students
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aged 20-24 attending full-time
education
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; the proportion was made up 12%  for male
students
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,
whereas
Linking Words
that of female
students
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was 1% more than their male counterparts.
Furthermore
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, the proportions of
students
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aged 30 and above were close to that of
students
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aged 20-24, and were lower 1-2%, in both gender
categories
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.
Lastly
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, the proportions of other
categories
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were responsible for fewer than 10%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, education, categories with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compare" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
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