The graph below shows home heating fuel choice according to the year the house was built. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows home heating fuel choice according to the year the house was built. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates information about the percentages of
home
heating fuel in
electricity
and natural
gas
between 1950 and 2010.
Overall
, Natural
gas
remained steady in the given
period
between
before
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1950 and1969. experienced a downward trend,
while
electricity
showed an upward trend throughout the
period
. Both
choice’s
Change noun form
choices’
show examples
home
rates ended up in the same percentage
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1990 to 2010.
Although
electricity
initially
had a lower
rate
, it surpassed natural
gas
at the end
of the
period
. Natural
gas
’s
home
rate
was about 60% in early 1950, higher than
electricity
’s
rate
by approximately 45%.
Then
, it remained steady until 1969.
However
, the figure showed a slight decrease to about 18% in 1970 and continued to decline steadily until reaching around 42% in 1989.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
rate
remained steady
to
Change preposition
until
show examples
the end of the
period
until
Change preposition
in
show examples
2010. Meanwhile, the percentage of
home
heating fuel in
electricity
was less than 20% in early of the year.
However
, it gradually increased for the next year and the growth rose and
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
the
rate
reached the natural
gas
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words home, electricity, gas, period, rate with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: