IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows home heating fuel choice according to the year the house was built. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows home heating fuel choice according to the year the house was built. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#home #fuel #choice #year #house #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates information about the percentages of
home
Use synonyms
 heating fuel in
electricity
Use synonyms
 and natural
gas
Use synonyms
 between 1950 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, Natural
gas
Use synonyms
 remained steady in the given
period
Use synonyms
 between
before
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1950 and1969. experienced a downward trend,
while
Linking Words
electricity
Use synonyms
 showed an upward trend throughout the
period
Use synonyms
. Both
choice’s
Change noun form
choices’
show examples
home
Use synonyms
 rates ended up in the same percentage
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1990 to 2010.
Although
Linking Words
electricity
Use synonyms
initially
Linking Words
 had a lower
rate
Use synonyms
, it surpassed natural
gas
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
. Natural
gas
Use synonyms
’s
home
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 was about 60% in early 1950, higher than
electricity
Use synonyms
’s
rate
Use synonyms
 by approximately 45%.
Then
Linking Words
, it remained steady until 1969.
However
Linking Words
, the figure showed a slight decrease to about 18% in 1970 and continued to decline steadily until reaching around 42% in 1989.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 remained steady
to
Change preposition
until
show examples
 the end of the
period
Use synonyms
until
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2010. Meanwhile, the percentage of
home
Use synonyms
 heating fuel in
electricity
Use synonyms
 was less than 20% in early of the year.
However
Linking Words
, it gradually increased for the next year and the growth rose and
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
 the
rate
Use synonyms
 reached the natural
gas
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words home, electricity, gas, period, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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