Some people think that sport has significant impact on the society, others think that sport is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
When speaking about
sports
, some people
see it as intertainment
, Correct your spelling
entertainment
while
others think that has a big impact on people
's life and believe it needs to be done regularly. In the following paragraphs, i
will discuss my personal opinion on both views.
Many Change the capitalization
I
people
strongly believe that sports
should be part of the routine. For example
, conducing
a Correct your spelling
conducting
healty
lifestyle and doing Correct your spelling
healthy
sport
regularly, helps Fix the agreement mistake
sports
people
to prevent many problems, such
as cardiovascular deseased
and obesity. Correct your spelling
disease
A regular
physical activity Remove the article
Regular
also
helps to reduce stress. Moreover
, sports
help many children to become part of a group and promotes
a sense of connection between them. Change the verb form
promote
Furthermore
, it has a big role on
their education. Change preposition
in
For example
, sports
group
like football or volleyball teach them how to collaborate. It helps Change the noun form
groups
peolpe
to nurture a sense of leadership and determination.
Correct your spelling
people
On the other hand
, some poeple
think that prioritizing sport can be Correct your spelling
people
derimental
for a nation. Some of them think that governments should spend more money on other pressing areas, like arts or education. Correct your spelling
detrimental
However
, investing on
Change preposition
in
sport
is extremely important for a country Fix the agreement mistake
sports
cause
it motivates Correct word choice
because
people
to be less lethargic and healtier
and Correct your spelling
healthier
consequently
affects healthcare services. In addiction
, investing in Correct your spelling
addition
sposrts
, Correct your spelling
sports
such
as football, helps the country's economy. For example
, European football brings many tourists and helps to promote brands all over the world.
in conclusion, i
Change the capitalization
I
thinks
Change the verb form
think
sports
are both leisure and an important part of people
's life
. In my Fix the agreement mistake
lives
opinion
everyone should be aware Add a comma
opinion,
on
how much it affects our bodies and our minds. Change preposition
of
Moreover
, watching sports
on television also
fulfill
our free time and help us connect with other Change the spelling
fulfil
people
.Submitted by chi63hi
on
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coherence
Your essay offers a balanced discussion on both views concerning the significance of sports, but there is room for improvement in terms of coherence. Improving the organization of your ideas will make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay to catch and correct spelling and grammatical errors. This will enhance readability and ensure clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you make your introduction and conclusion slightly more comprehensive. This will offer a better framework for your arguments and summarize the key points effectively.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as the impact of football on children's education, and how sports influence a country's economy. These make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
You have clearly understood the task and addressed both sides of the argument effectively.
coherence
Your points are relevant and add value to your arguments about the importance of sport on both individual and societal levels.