IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people assert that it is good for college students to have part-time jobs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #college #students #jobs
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Some people assert that working as a
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
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time
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jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
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 is not essential for college
students
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. At the same
time
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, there are a significant number of people who highlight the importance of
students
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’ working
experiences
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. I firmly believe that
students
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 can get vital life lessons through working
experiences
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,
such
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 as
time
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 management skills and
great
Correct article usage
a great
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 sense of responsibility for their expenses.
Firstly
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, young adults can require
an
Correct article usage
the
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 ability
for managing
Change preposition
to manage
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 their
time
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 properly.
Students
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 who have to work need to make their daily or even weekly plans because they are responsible for both studying and working at the same
time
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.
That is
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 to say, they have a lack of
time
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 when they can totally
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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focus
soley
Correct your spelling
solely
 on doing academic activities like assignments and the preparation for exams compared to those who are not employees.
This
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 situation leads
students
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 to plan their schedules efficiently to use their
time
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 to not waste their
time
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.
Therefore
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, it is apparent that the opportunity to work gives
students
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 to take control of their
time
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 effectively.
In addition
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, working
experiences
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 contribute college
students
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 to
make
Wrong verb form
making
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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great consumption habits
since
Change preposition
from
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 a young age. They are able to realize the hardness of working and earning money, which could be connected to form wise expense habits.
For instance
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, it is possible for them to record their every
expenses
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expense
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 and figure out their financial condition, thereby adjusting
consuming
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the consumption
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 money of the month.
Also
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, they can make a bank account to save the money. These examples show that
students
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 are able to raise good consuming
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
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 thanks to
experiences
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 of being workers.
To sum up
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, having part-
time
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 jobs is significantly important for
students
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, even though it would be hard and burdensome for them.
Students
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 can make the most of
this
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 experience, grow
further
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 and acquire useful
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
skills, provided that they don’t overwork.
Submitted by jb22809467 on

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relevant specific examples
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supported main points
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complete response
The arguments presented are relevant to the topic and show a good level of understanding.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • time management
  • practical experience
  • competitive edge
  • responsibility
  • financial independence
  • budgeting
  • academic performance
  • relevance
  • professional network
  • burnout
  • balance
  • accountability
  • maturity
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