In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. Why do you think it is the case? How should children and teenagers be punished?
Criminality is increasing worldwide and more and more children and teenagers are committing numerous
crimes
.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, the root causes of Linking Words
Linking Words
this
problems are a low-quality life, the breakdown of the family unit and mental health problems. Correct determiner usage
these
Firstly
, in some underdeveloped Linking Words
countries
young people are often pushed to commit Add a comma
countries,
crimes
. Use synonyms
For example
, some of them are involved in robberies, others become drug dealers in order to simply survive. They have no other easier ways to earn money Linking Words
thus
they become criminals. Linking Words
Also
, in those situations, some children commit Linking Words
crimes
in order to gain social status and become important among other youths.
Use synonyms
Moreover
, another contributing factor is the breakdown of the family unit. Many teenagers don't have the appropriate parental guidance and they often act without the elderly's supervision.
Linking Words
Furthermore
, others could commit Linking Words
crimes
Use synonyms
due to
mental illness. It is quite difficult to make Linking Words
diagnosis
on children and teenagers and sometimes Fix the agreement mistake
diagnoses
parent
can't admit that their sons need medical help. A lack of treatment can lead to wrong behaviours.
When it comes to punishment, those who manifest some suspicious behavioursFix the agreement mistake
parents
,
should be tested and given medication if necessary. Others should be sent to juveniles where they should be re-educated and they Remove the comma
apply
also
should do community service in order to learn and to become better adults.Linking Words
Submitted by chi63hi
on
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introduction conclusion present
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complete response
The essay addresses the main causes of youth criminality and suggests appropriate punishments, demonstrating a strong understanding of the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
The points raised about low-quality life, breakdown of the family unit, and mental health issues are compelling and relevant to the discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
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- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.