Many manufactered food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. SUgar products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Sugary foods and drinks have become our everyday staples.
People
are addicted to consuming more
products
which contain high levels of
sugar
in their diets.
Therefore
, there has been a discussion to increase the
price
of sugary
products
in order to discourage
people
from buying those
products
. Eating food which contains high concentrations of
sugar
might cause many health problems,
such
as heart attacks, obesity, and diabetes.
Thus
, we have to limit our daily
sugar
intake to the recommended restriction.
However
,
this
is not an easy thing to do because the desire to buy sugary meals and beverages is usually high.
For example
, if we have to choose to either buy ice cream or vegetables as a treat,
then
we can confidently say that most
people
will choose ice cream over vegetables.
Therefore
there is a need to reinforce the limitation of
sugar
intake to society by raising the
price
of sweet
products
.
As a result
,
people
will think twice if they are going to buy them
due to
the
price
.
Consequently
, the daily intake of
sugar
will dwindle swiftly.
On the other hand
, some
people
are against
this
idea.
For instance
, the manufacturers do not support
this
idea because their turnover will decrease if
this
policy is implemented.
This
will affect the economic condition of the whole country
further
. There might be caused by huge layoffs caused by the closings of factories across the country. In my opinion, the idea of increasing the
price
of sugary
products
is too much. It is an individual's choice to choose what they are consuming every day. Everyone has a responsibility to their own health and body
thus
the policy does not really need to be implemented. In conclusion,
although
there are some benefits like
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
health problems if
this
proposed action is implemented, the drawbacks that might be caused by
this
scheme outweigh the benefits. The economic growth might slow down
then
it will cause another economic crisis.
Submitted by rianadmaja on

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clear comprehensive ideas
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logical structure
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complete response
Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument effectively.
relevant specific examples
Your use of relevant examples, like the choice between ice cream and vegetables, helps to illustrate your points well.
introduction conclusion present
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supported main points
Your main points are well-supported with logical reasoning, which strengthens the argument you are making.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar consumption
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • encourage
  • expensive
  • reduce
  • effectively
  • discourage
  • tight budget
  • purchasing
  • disproportionately
  • lower-income individuals
  • healthier food choices
  • demand
  • regardless
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