Many manufactered food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. SUgar products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Sugary foods and drinks have become our everyday staples.
People
are addicted to consuming more Use synonyms
products
which contain high levels of Use synonyms
sugar
in their diets. Use synonyms
Therefore
, there has been a discussion to increase the Linking Words
price
of sugary Use synonyms
products
in order to discourage Use synonyms
people
from buying those Use synonyms
products
.
Eating food which contains high concentrations of Use synonyms
sugar
might cause many health problems, Use synonyms
such
as heart attacks, obesity, and diabetes. Linking Words
Thus
, we have to limit our daily Linking Words
sugar
intake to the recommended restriction. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
this
is not an easy thing to do because the desire to buy sugary meals and beverages is usually high. Linking Words
For example
, if we have to choose to either buy ice cream or vegetables as a treat, Linking Words
then
we can confidently say that most Linking Words
people
will choose ice cream over vegetables. Use synonyms
Therefore
there is a need to reinforce the limitation of Linking Words
sugar
intake to society by raising the Use synonyms
price
of sweet Use synonyms
products
. Use synonyms
As a result
, Linking Words
people
will think twice if they are going to buy them Use synonyms
due to
the Linking Words
price
. Use synonyms
Consequently
, the daily intake of Linking Words
sugar
will dwindle swiftly.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, some Linking Words
people
are against Use synonyms
this
idea. Linking Words
For instance
, the manufacturers do not support Linking Words
this
idea because their turnover will decrease if Linking Words
this
policy is implemented. Linking Words
This
will affect the economic condition of the whole country Linking Words
further
. There might be caused by huge layoffs caused by the closings of factories across the country.
In my opinion, the idea of increasing the Linking Words
price
of sugary Use synonyms
products
is too much. It is an individual's choice to choose what they are consuming every day. Everyone has a responsibility to their own health and body Use synonyms
thus
the policy does not really need to be implemented. In conclusion, Linking Words
although
there are some benefits like Linking Words
less
health problems if Change the quantifier
fewer
this
proposed action is implemented, the drawbacks that might be caused by Linking Words
this
scheme outweigh the benefits. The economic growth might slow down Linking Words
then
it will cause another economic crisis.Linking Words
Submitted by rianadmaja on
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clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure your ideas are clearly and comprehensively expressed. Some points, particularly in the third paragraph, could be expanded to enhance clarity. For example, you can further detail how lay-offs affect individuals and the broader economy.
logical structure
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complete response
Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument effectively.
relevant specific examples
Your use of relevant examples, like the choice between ice cream and vegetables, helps to illustrate your points well.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps in guiding the reader through your arguments smoothly.
supported main points
Your main points are well-supported with logical reasoning, which strengthens the argument you are making.
Your opinion
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