Living in a country where you have to speak a local language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Life in a state in which you have to learn and speak
different
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a different
show examples
language
might lead
major
Change preposition
to major
show examples
issues
additionally
practical issues.
This
essay agrees with
this
statement. Individuals living in foreign
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
may have problems with employment and
also
people
would have
language
Add an article
a language
the language
show examples
barrier
. Unemployment and underemployment are common issues for
people
who
migrated
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migrate
show examples
from another
country
. Employers do not want to employ migrants who do not know their
language
. The best option for emigrants is
waiter
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a waiter
show examples
for half-time.
For example
,
according to
research of students of Nazarbaev University the chance of finding a half-time job for
migrant
Fix the agreement mistake
migrants
show examples
who do not know
official
Add an article
the official
show examples
language
of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
is 12%, chance of finding
full-time
Add an article
a full-time
show examples
job is 3 times less. Knowing of official
language
makes
chance
Correct article usage
the chance
show examples
2 times more. Another problem, which might caused is
language
Add an article
the language
a language
show examples
barrier
. Individuals living in foreign
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
would not understand idiomatic, dialects etc of native speakers. Any region, city or even
country
would have words which are
misunderstanding
Wrong verb form
misunderstood
show examples
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
people
from
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
. To give an example, linguists from the US conducted
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research with three
people
and each of them had
B1
Correct article usage
a B1
show examples
level of
language
. One of them learned
language
Add an article
the language
a language
show examples
at courses,
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
Add a comma
,
show examples
lived in a city with native speakers and
third
Add an article
the third
show examples
one did both of them.
Conclusion
Correct article usage
The conclusion
show examples
of
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
was, that
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
person spent 2 years
to destroy
Change the verb form
destroying
show examples
language
Correct article usage
the language
show examples
barrier
with native speakers, meanwhile second needed 4 months and
third
Correct article usage
the third
show examples
one 3 months
To conclude
,
this
essay concurs with the given statement. Life in
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
, where you have to know
official
Add an article
the official
show examples
language
, would cause
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of problems,
such
as problems with finding a job and
language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
barrier
.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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grammar
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar. There are noticeable errors that might distract the reader.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of ideas. While there is a logical structure, transitions between ideas and paragraphs can be smoother.
task achievement
Provide more detailed explanations and elaborate on examples. This will help in making your points clearer and more comprehensive.
task achievement
Clear stance on the topic is provided. The introduction clearly states agreement with the statement, and the conclusion reiterates this.
task achievement
Relevant examples are given to support the main points, making the arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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