In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
The use of
plastic
bags
has become a serious global problem to causes environmental pollution because of the increase in their rubbish. I partially agree with this
, for it poses detrimental damage to many wild creatures regardless of the fact that plastic
bags
are essential for consumers to enjoy shopping.
On the one hand, the growing reliance of shoppers on plastic
bags
leads to the rise of trash, which can harm the environment and wild animals. In other words
, more lands are contaminated as the level of dangerous chemicals are emitted from burning plastic
wastes. For instance
, hazardous materials such
as acid and nitrogen are constantly produced in nature, making the land more infertile as it lacks important nutrients. This
not only discourages vegetables and fruits from growing but also
many wild animals from finding their habitats. Furthermore
, a number of marine creatures have been killed by the plastic
materials that people carelessly throw into the ocean as they accidentally swallow them, which makes them suffocated. Thus
, huge sacrifices have already been made by the growing amount of plastic
waste. Therefore
, the public should immediately stop their dependence on plastic
shopping bags
.
On the other hand
, removing plastic
bags
will increase the inconvenience for consumers as they play a significant role in carrying their products. Indeed, the loss of these bags
will discourage their shopping, making individuals less likely to purchase more items. Since they are more likely to be reluctant to hold many things in their own hands, their motivation to buy various items will decline dramatically, which can lead to the stagnation of the national economy in the end. Moreover
, it can promote more poverty as people stop buying products due to
the growing sense of trouble. Consequently
, the deprivation of plastic
bags
will have a negative influence on their behaviour in shopping and the economy as well.
In conclusion, I somewhat agree that plastic
bags
should be eliminated because they cause serious damage to the environment and wild creatures both on the land and the ocean. However
, the inconvenience that consumers may experience in shopping can stop the progress of the national economy since they would not like to hold their products in their hands.Submitted by mizuho on
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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your standpoint, but consider refining the wording for better clarity. Instead of "I partially agree with this, for it poses...", you might say, "I partially agree that plastic bags should be banned due to their detrimental impact on the environment, although they do offer convenience for consumers."
task achievement
While you provide strong arguments and examples, some points could be further elaborated or backed up with more specific data or sources. For example, rather than stating, "more lands are contaminated," you could include statistics or case studies that show how significant the contamination is.
task achievement
Work on ensuring all your ideas are deeply explored. For instance, you mention that the deprivation of plastic bags can lead to economic stagnation, but you might also want to address potential alternatives to plastic bags and how they could mitigate the negative impact on the economy.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured logically, with a clear division of paragraphs addressing different points. However, ensure smooth transitions between your ideas. For example, adding transitional phrases like "Moreover," or "Additionally," at the beginning of your points can help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion successfully summarizes your arguments. However, you could make it even stronger by briefly suggesting possible solutions or alternatives to the problem, which would demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are very effective in summarizing your viewpoint and the main arguments discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported with examples, particularly the impact of plastic waste on marine life.
task achievement
The essay maintains a balanced perspective, clearly expressing both sides of the argument, which demonstrates critical thinking.