IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. to whta extent do you agree or disagree?

In the 21st century, rapid technological advancement and global development have significantly transformed human
life
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. It is often argued that
people
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 today enjoy a higher quality of
life
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 compared to those in the past. I largely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement,
although
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 some drawbacks still exist. On the one hand, modern
life
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 offers clear advantages in terms of healthcare, education, and living standards. Medical progress has led to the prevention and treatment of many
life
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-threatening diseases, increasing
life
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 expectancy worldwide.
For example
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, vaccines, advanced surgeries, and digital health monitoring systems have made healthcare more effective and accessible.
In addition
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, education has become more widespread
due to
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 the internet and online learning platforms, allowing individuals from different backgrounds to access knowledge easily.
Furthermore
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, technological innovations
such
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 as smartphones, transportation systems, and smart homes have made daily tasks more convenient and efficient.
On the other hand
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, it is important to acknowledge that modern
life
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also
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 brings certain challenges. Despite technological comfort, many
people
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 experience higher levels of stress
due to
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 fast-paced lifestyles and work pressures. Mental health issues,
such
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 as anxiety and depression, are more commonly reported today than in previous generations.
Moreover
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, environmental problems, including pollution and climate change, have worsened
as a result
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 of
industrialization
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industrialisation
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 and overconsumption.
In contrast
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,
people
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 in the past often lived simpler lives, with stronger community bonds and closer relationships with nature. In conclusion,
although
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 the 21st century presents some new difficulties, the
overall
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 quality of
life
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 has improved significantly compared to earlier times. Advances in healthcare, education, and technology have provided
people
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 with greater opportunities and comfort.
Therefore
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, I strongly agree that modern
life
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 is generally better, despite its challenges.

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task response
Make your main view even more clear in each body part.
task response
Add one more real and clear example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain a little more why old times had stronger group ties.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care so each idea flows in a smoother way.
coherence and cohesion
Some points are good, but a few need a bit more detail and support.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and build it step by step.
task response
You answer the question well and show a clear opinion from start to end.
task response
Your ideas are on topic and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are well ordered and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words well, like on the one hand and in conclusion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • quality of life
  • technological innovations
  • life expectancy
  • preventive measures
  • educational opportunities
  • online learning platforms
  • globalization
  • economic conditions
  • social issues
  • gender equality
  • human rights
  • environmental resources
  • climate change
  • leisure activities
  • cultural experiences
  • mental health awareness
  • well-being
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