IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Children all over the world should learn to speak a single, universal language fluently in addition to their native language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #world #language #addition
In my opinion, to agree or disagree with the
statement
 that learning to speak a single for
children
 is a critical issue.
Initial
Change the word
Initially
show examples
, I will present some
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
 supporting
this
statement
,after which aspects against that will be discussed. In
this
 essay,the two
viewpoint
Change to a plural noun
viewpoints
show examples
 will be argued. On the one hand, many humans believe that
children
 should learn to speak a single has many benefits. The most important is to improve the information to communicate.
For example
, I was learning more skills to assist other
people
 in the country.
Moreover
, speaking a single is essential for physical, psychological, and financial aspects.
For instance
, for the mind, if we learn
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 new language to speak, we will get strong a personality.
Furthermore
, they receive a lot of experience in speaking a single with other
people
 in
a different cities
Correct the article-noun agreement
different cities
a different city
show examples
. As an example,
children
 depending themselves for work.
On the other hand
,other
people
 oppose
this
statement
 for many reasons. The most important is that
speak
Wrong verb form
speaking
show examples
 a universal language difficult. One more reason to disagree with the
statement
 is that speaking the universal language for
children
 was awful. The best example,I like what I speak because to teach and contact other
people
 in many cities. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea supporting
this
statement
 because its drawbacks outweigh its benefits.
Submitted by shaikhaalrashidi24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on constructing clear, concise main points for each paragraph to improve overall logical flow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments. This will enhance clarity and depth.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to make your points more compelling and engaging.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced approach.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion is clear and aligns with the essay question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • fluently
  • native language
  • effective communication
  • global understanding
  • unity
  • educational opportunities
  • career opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • social integration
  • language barriers
What to do next:
Look at other essays: