Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to be happy in life is to have a lot of money.How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

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In modern society, many people

associale

Correct your spelling

associate

happiness with wealth and material possessions.

However

, there is an ongoing

dabate

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debate

about whether money is the main source of pleasure

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show examples

life. In

this

essay, I will present

this

view,

along with

things, other than cash, that can make an individual's life happier. In the end, I will provide my own point of view

along with

a sensible conclusion. On the one hand, currency can

Correct your spelling

buy

show examples

better comforts.

In other words

, having a

lange

Correct your spelling

large

amount of money can furnish people with financial stability and the means to pursue their

goal

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goals

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and dreams. One good example of

this

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

with high salaries can afford to travel, purchase expensive items, and live in fully furnished

home

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homes

show examples

Furthermore

, wealth can supply access to resources and

opportunites

Correct your spelling

opportunities

that may not be available to those without monetary means. Especially, having pecuniary security can mitigate stress and anxiety, allowing residents to focus on other areas of their lives.

On the other hand

, there are many other factors that can contribute to cheerfulness beyond just money. Spending quality time in the company of friends and family will bring an immeasurable amount of joy.

Moreover

, strong personal relationships can all lead to feelings of contentment and satisfaction.

Additionally

individual

Add an article

an individual

the individual

show examples

who

have

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has

show examples

a clear sense of direction and

purpost

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purpose

in their lives often report feeling satisfied and happy.

Finally

, good physical and mental health can

also

be crucial to pleasure, as illness can detract from a person's quality of life. In conclusion,

although

cash can certainly contribute to contentment, it is not the only factor that determines an individual's

overall

well-being. A person can find happiness in other things like having a family and perfect health

also

act as a catalyst to reach a state of gladness.

Submitted by quynhtranhbh on Thu Jul 04 2024

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grammar

Work on eliminating minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes ('associale,' 'dabate,' 'by better comforts,' 'lange,' and 'pecuniary'). Proofreading can help detect and correct these errors.

development

Provide more specific examples and elaborate on your ideas to strengthen the arguments. For instance, you mentioned that wealth can supply access to resources and opportunities, but citing specific examples (such as access to quality education and healthcare) could make the argument more compelling.

cohesion

While the essay is logically structured, there is a need to refine the transitions between ideas. Using more transitional phrases and sentences can enhance the flow of the essay, contributing to coherence and cohesion.

structure

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frame the discussion.

development

The main points are consistently supported and elaborated on, particularly the role of money in achieving happiness and other sources of happiness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to be happy in life is to have a lot of money.How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Fully explain your ideas

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, more tasks at home and or are being performed by robots. Is this a negative or positive development?

In some countries was in the house is more important than rented one what might be the cause is this positive or negative development

Many feel that happiness is mainly an individual responsibility while others feel that there are important external factors. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent abd eventually replace traditional ways of food preparation. To waht extebt do you agree or disagree with this opinion?