Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food.Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people.Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.?

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Nowadays, scientists are playing a crucial role in our

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

to enhance it.

However

Linking Words

, they

are believing

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

that the prime cause to

demlish

Correct your spelling

demolish

our health by eating junk

food

Use synonyms

. A wide range of them are assuming that to alleviate

this

Linking Words

issue, they should educate their citizens.

While

Linking Words

others are convincing that even

eduaction

Correct your spelling

education

will not have any effect. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will demonstrate both views

with

Change preposition

show examples

some instances. On the one hand, Fast

food

Use synonyms

now

day

Add an article

the day

a day

show examples

is on the top of

Add an article

a shelf

show examples

shelf

Fix the agreement mistake

shelves

show examples

bussniss

Correct your spelling

business

. A diverse variation of individuals

are

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show examples

buying it to consume time without realizing

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

hazards. People should be more

awared

Correct your spelling

aware

about

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show examples

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

health. They

also

Linking Words

should know more about the

obestacles

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obstacles

this

Linking Words

happit

Correct your spelling

habit

For instance

Linking Words

, Chinese schools are teaching their adolescents the drawbacks of

over

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apply

show examples

utilizing

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apply

show examples

fast

food

Use synonyms

and how are they going to be in the future.

This

Linking Words

idea made the new generation

Correct your spelling

show examples

are concerned about

this

Linking Words

issue.

On the other hand

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

education only is not the solution for

this

Linking Words

proplem

Correct your spelling

problem

. An array of people are tempted

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show examples

the offers of fast

food

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, they feel they are sluggish to cook some healthy

food

Use synonyms

. They

also

Linking Words

find that healthy

food

Use synonyms

is overpriced and they can not handle it.

For instance

Linking Words

, Doctors in many hospitals are spending money on junk

food

Use synonyms

Nonetheless

Linking Words

, they are concerned more

Change preposition

with

show examples

fast

food

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

their studying. In my honest opinion, education can

paly

Correct your spelling

play

show examples

a vital role

Change preposition

in to

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

decline

Verb problem

reducing

show examples

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

of this

show examples

proplem

Correct your spelling

problem

by demonstrating its

consequence

Fix the agreement mistake

consequences

show examples

. In conclusion, the government should

pla

Correct your spelling

play

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

vital role

to diminish

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in diminishing

show examples

eating

Correct article usage

the eating

show examples

this

Linking Words

type of

food

Use synonyms

. They should foster

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

people to eat healthy

food

Use synonyms

by making offers on it, and

eleminating

Correct your spelling

eliminating

the offers on fast

food

Use synonyms

mohannadsmeThu Jul 04 2024

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language

Work on grammar and spelling to avoid errors such as 'demlish' instead of 'demolish', 'obestacles' instead of 'obstacles', and 'eduaction' instead of 'education'.

support

Provide more clear examples to support your points. Your examples are somewhat vague, such as 'Doctors in many hospitals are spending money on junk food.'

task response

Strengthen your argumentation by balancing both views more evenly and providing a more comprehensive analysis.

coherence

Ensure that each paragraph develops a single main idea clearly and logically. Some ideas in the paragraphs are not fully developed or explained.

task response

Good attempt at discussing both views as required by the prompt.

structure

Proper structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

288 words

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Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food.Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people.Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Tourism contributes significant amount of income to many countries. Discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of this

Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity. What are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these?

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the cause? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler?

nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

Illiteracy continues to be a concern for many countries in the world today. What are the causes of illiteracy in the modern world, and what effects does it have on the people concerned and on society as a whole.