IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people argue that tourism brings more benefits than problems to a country, while others believe that tourism causes more harm than good. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #tourism #country #harm
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Tourism
Use synonyms
 is a global industry
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 any
country
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 that brings both negative and positive changes.
This
Linking Words
 is why; some people think that
tourism
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 is more beneficial to a
country
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while
Linking Words
 others argue that
tourism
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 does more damage than good to a
country
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. I believe
tourism
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proposes
Verb problem
has
show examples
 more advantages than disadvantages. One of the primary advantages of
tourism
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 is that it contributes to economic development.
This
Linking Words
 means
to say
Verb problem
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 spend money, on lodging, food and
sight-seeing
Correct your spelling
sightseeing
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while
Linking Words
 visiting different historical and natural places of different parts of
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
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 encouraging economic development.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they post pictures
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media which influences other people to visit those places which leads to
potential
Add an article
a potential
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 influx of migrators and thereby,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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adds to more collection of money.
Moreover
Linking Words
, The
disadvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
show examples
 of
tourism
Use synonyms
 is that it does
Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on

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task achievement
Ensure a complete response by fully discussing both views of the argument. In this essay, the disadvantages of tourism are mentioned but not expanded upon.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear conclusion to wrap up the essay. Right now, the essay ends abruptly without a clear conclusion to reaffirm the overall opinion.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. Instead of general statements, provide concrete instances where tourism has either benefitted or harmed a country.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph structure for better coherence. Develop each idea in a separate paragraph and ensure logical flow between points.
task achievement
The essay clearly states an opinion, which provides insight into the writer's stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets the stage well, making it clear what the essay will discuss.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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