The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below represent the constructive development which has more commercial and tourism value at Porth
Harbour
in 2000 and today.
Overall
, a comparison of the two maps reveals a big transformation from a relatively undeveloped area to a more advanced commercial place. In the year 2000, Porth
Harbour
only had one dock
whereas
, during the next 24 years, another dock was built and it has two docks right now. To the west, it can be seen that showers & toilets
as well as
car parts were retained,
however
, a new restroom beside another car park was installed. Meanwhile,
it is clear that
the Marina and fishing boat rigions in 2000 were swapped in 2024. On the south side of the
harbour
, a new cafeteria was established just beside the lifeboat area. At the same time, the disused Castle 2000 was cleared and converted into a hotel in the southeastern part of the
harbour
.
Furthermore
, in the year 2000, there used to be a public beach near the castle, but it was replaced by a private beach which was used for developing a hotel.
Lastly
, a new road to the hotel was built on the way to the pier in 2024.
Submitted by bubblehead1213 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that comparisons between the two maps are clearly stated to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of information by using more cohesive devices (e.g., moreover, in addition, furthermore) to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing a clearer introduction and conclusion to frame the essay better.
task achievement
Check for minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for greater clarity.
task achievement
Be consistent in describing directions (e.g., west, south) to avoid any potential confusion or inaccuracy.
content highlight
The essay adequately summarizes the transformation of Porth Harbour and presents a detailed comparison of the two maps.
content highlight
Relevant and specific examples are given to illustrate the changes between the two maps clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • harbour (or harbor)
  • docks
  • shipping lanes
  • warehouses
  • recreational areas
  • infrastructure
  • additions
  • removals
  • facilities
  • environmental sustainability
  • economic impact
  • local community
  • capacity
  • technological advancements
  • industrial shipping
  • recreational use
  • surrounding infrastructure
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