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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some counties young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#counties #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is in some states, teenagers are encouraged to
work
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 or discover during the year between graduating high school and starting university. It is undeniable that
work
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 and study become an essential part of our
life
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lives
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.
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However
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However,
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 there is no absolute agreement as some people find
beneficial
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it beneficial
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,
while
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 others consider everything associated with that statement negatively. Surely, there are both pros and cons to in certain nations, young individuals are advised to engage in either
work
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 or travel for a year after completing secondary education before commencing their university studies. But I believe
advantages
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the advantages
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 outweigh
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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. One of the main positives of travel is that before entering they can see the world or how to
work
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 and by
traveling
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travelling
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 they can broaden their horizons.
For
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instance
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instance,
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 traveling allows them to broaden their horizons and develop a deeper understanding of global diversity. Turning to the other side of
argument
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the argument
an argument
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, at
work
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 and travelling
time
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 may devote little
time
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 to study and may not have
time
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 to prepare for admission after school. Another major disadvantage is
while
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 preparing for admissions is important,
ensure
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to ensure
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 you
also
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 take breaks and maintain a healthy
work
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-life balance. Burnout can hinder your productivity and focus. Having
weighted
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weighed
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 everything mentioned up, we can come to
a
Correct article usage
the
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 conclusion the bottom line is that juggling
work
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, travel, and studying for admissions requires careful planning and sticking to it. It's definitely a challenge, but with a clear plan, managing your
time
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 well, and using the resources available, you can make progress toward your academic goals
while
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 handling your job responsibilities. Just remember to prioritize, stay organized, and stay motivated along the way.
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure you provide clear, comprehensive ideas supported by specific examples. For instance, elaborate on how travel broadens horizons and how taking a gap year impacts university preparedness.
task achievement
Try to expand on each point you make with additional details or examples. This will strengthen your argument and provide a more comprehensive response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Develop logical connections between paragraphs to increase coherence. Use transition words or phrases to guide the reader through your essay smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that main points are fully supported with specific evidence or elaboration. This will help in making your argument more convincing and well rounded.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which help in framing the argument effectively.
task achievement
The topic is addressed, and there is a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
The main idea of the benefits of traveling or working before university is clear and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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