It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that we can
research
native surroundings
every where
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
and every time,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
the South Pole. It is undeniable that
wild
Correct article usage
the wild
show examples
has become an essential part of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
However
, there is no absolute agreement as some people find
beneficial
Correct pronoun usage
it beneficial
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,
while
others consider everything associated with
this
statement negatively. Surely, there are both pros and cons to
research
Wrong verb form
researching
show examples
dangerous places, but I believe
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. One of the main positives of
research
Wrong verb form
researching
show examples
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
show examples
environment is that with every journey, with every
findings
Fix the agreement mistake
finding
show examples
and discovery, you expand your horizons and learn more about the planet and animals.
For instance
, there a lot of findings and researches liked
this
job,
also
it depends
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the person, some of the researches from
yuong
Correct your spelling
young
ages interests for the nature. Another advantage is that nowadays you can
research
any were and and find out everything that happened with each discovery many questions appear and more discoveries and work. Turning to the other side of the side of the argument, with each search
this
can go far and lead to consequences,
for example
, how studying sharks in the ocean
also
has risks of losing people, or studying a mountain and mines can lead to a collapse. Another major disadvantage is the potential for exploitation and unethical practices. When scientific
research
ventures into sensitive areas or involves vulnerable populations, there is a risk of exploitation for commercial gain or political motives. In summary,
while
scientific
research
brings invaluable knowledge and advancements, it must be conducted with careful consideration of its potential environmental and social impacts. Balancing the pursuit of knowledge with responsible stewardship of the natural world is crucial for sustainable progress.
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Introduction
The introduction presents the issue, but it’s quite generalized and lacks specificity on what the essay will cover. Consider refining the thesis statement to clearly mention the main points to be discussed.
Body Paragraphs
Some ideas are not fully developed or clearly expressed. Aim to provide more precise and comprehensive explanations. This will make your argument more convincing.
Language Accuracy
There are grammar and vocabulary inaccuracies that can affect comprehension. Try to proofread your essay to minimize these errors.
Relevant Examples
Arguments should be supported with specific and relevant examples. General statements without concrete examples weaken the overall argument.
Conclusion
Ensure the conclusion summarizes the key points effectively and closely aligns with what was mentioned in the introduction and body paragraphs.
Balance in Argument
The essay attempts to discuss both advantages and disadvantages, showing an effort to provide a balanced view.
Structure
The general structure of having an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion is present.
Range of Ideas
There is a clear effort to touch on various aspects of the topic such as educational benefits and potential risks.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote natural environment
  • scientific research
  • climate change
  • environmental preservation
  • economic benefits
  • conservation efforts
  • habitat disruption
  • pollution
  • cultural disruption
  • indigenous populations
  • commercialization
  • safety risks
  • personal enrichment
  • ecosystems
  • awareness
  • appreciation for nature
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