IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. (million). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing Task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. (million). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing Task 1
#minutes #changes #people #travel #million #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The presented table compares data about the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
number of international travel in 4 different years( 1990,1995,2000, and 2005) in 5 various districts per million.
Overall
, The figure of people who had international travel increased;
moreover
, all regions except America had
rose
Add an article
a rose
show examples
 trend in the
periodic
Replace the word
period
show examples
 of 15 years.
According to
 the chart, America, which was the first one in 1990, had a 680.5, but the trend reduced significantly to 113.2 in the
last
 year. The second one was
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
European
Fix the agreement mistake
Europeans
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 had 280.2 at the beginning;
then
this
 number climbed moderately to 400.2 in 2005;
furthermore
,
catched
Correct your spelling
caught
show examples
 on the first level. The third one was Asia and the
pacific
Capitalize word
Pacific
show examples
, which had the largest society, at the
beginng
Correct your spelling
beginning
 had 60.2, and
this
 amount
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
owervelmingly
Correct your spelling
overwhelmingly
 to 135 in 2005. The diagram demonstrates Africa and
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 West respectively had not only the smallest figure but
also
 grew
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
slightly because
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the start Africa had 18.2.
Finally
,
this
 amount reached 28.7.
In addition
, the number of Middle West nearly the
helf
Correct your spelling
half
help
 of the figure of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Africa.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: