Youth people committing crimes should be treated the same as adults by the authorities To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Society
are
facing Change the verb form
is
the
issues regarding Correct article usage
apply
drastic
increase in the number of juvenile Add an article
the drastic
a drastic
delinquency
, Fix the agreement mistake
delinquents
which
one of the various Correct word choice
and
suggestion
solutions Replace the word
suggested
of
Change preposition
to
this
Change the determiner
this on-going problem
these on-going problems
on-going
problems Correct your spelling
ongoing
focusing
on the equal Wrong verb form
focuses
treatment
of the
criminals despite Correct article usage
apply
the
Change the word
their
ages
. Some may agree in
some extent Change preposition
to
while
critics may disagree. However
, after thorough consideration, though to provide
Change the verb form
providing
the
similar Correct article usage
a
treatment
will proffer some benefits, it is firmly believed that there are potential drawbacks of offering identical programs for both ages
groups Change the noun form
age
offenders
which should be taken Change preposition
of offenders
in to
account.
One argument on the benefits of treating Correct your spelling
into
the
young offenders like adults Correct article usage
apply
rely
on the notion of fairness and Correct subject-verb agreement
relies
equility
, Correct your spelling
equality
equity
the
equal Correct article usage
apply
punishment
without any deductions of the severity could trigger the fear of commiting
crimes which could possibly make the reduction of the Correct your spelling
committing
crimes
rates. To elaborate, equal penalty Change the noun form
crime
narrowing
the loopholes of unequal Wrong verb form
narrows
treatement
. Correct your spelling
treatment
For instance
, some criminal adolescents often used
the the Wrong verb form
use
underages
as Fix the agreement mistake
underage
the
excuses for their actions. Correct article usage
apply
Nonetheless
, there are several disadvantages of the
equal Correct article usage
apply
treatment
which should not be put down by any chance.
There are plenty of concerns of
the Change preposition
about
punishment
of those wrongdoers especially
the immature, the vital Add the comma(s)
, especially
one
are on the development of Correct pronoun usage
ones
brain
and Add an article
the brain
though
of the juvenile which are mostly less Correct your spelling
thoughts
develop
compared to the adults. To demonstrate, some Wrong verb form
developed
misbehavior
of the youth that Change the spelling
misbehaviour
contradict
Change the verb form
contradicts
to
the law may Change preposition
apply
came
Change the verb form
come
frome
the lack of decision-making capacities, meaning the same Correct your spelling
from
punishment
will be less effective due to
the the less development of mind in the young offenders. The abilities
for Fix the agreement mistake
ability
understanding
Add an article
the understanding
an understanding
of
Change preposition
apply
human
can Fix the agreement mistake
humans
be imply
Change the verb form
be implied
from
the difficulties of Change preposition
by
the
education which parallel Correct article usage
apply
to
the Change preposition
apply
ages
.
Furthermore
, another crucial focal point is the increasing of
recidivism from adolescence there Change preposition
apply
are
no effective Change the verb form
is
punishment
It is obvious that in the case of harsh Fix the agreement mistake
punishments
punishment
on Add an article
an adult
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
are
not suitable for Correct subject-verb agreement
is
the
juvenile criminals as it could not create Correct article usage
apply
the
understanding of evil acts Correct article usage
an
then
considered as ineffeicient
for Correct your spelling
inefficient
prevent
Wrong verb form
preventing
futher
the illegal actions. It Correct your spelling
further
is advocate
that the Change the verb form
is advocated
specifc
Correct your spelling
specific
treatment
will be more effective for youth.
In conclusion, the
equal Correct article usage
apply
treatment
is like the old ages
goes "Fix the agreement mistake
age
doble-edged
sword" which Correct your spelling
double-edged
offer
both advantages and disadvantages, Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
however
there are several drawbacks which are harmful to Add a comma
however,
the
society and the youth.Correct article usage
apply
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task response
Your essay does a good job in addressing different aspects of the issue, but it often lacks clarity and coherence. More concrete examples and explanation could significantly enhance the relevance of your points. Additionally, structuring your paragraphs to clearly differentiate between arguments and counterarguments will strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improving your grammatical accuracy and range will help to make your essay easier to follow. Pay attention to sentence structure and the use of connectors, as some sentences were quite complex and difficult to understand. Additionally, make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more effective. The introduction should provide a clearer preview of the essay’s contents, while the conclusion should more explicitly summarize the key points discussed. This can help the reader better understand your stance and the arguments you present.
task response
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and the complexity of the issue. Giving weight to both advantages and disadvantages of treating young offenders as adults shows a nuanced comprehension.
coherence cohesion
The essay makes an effort to present different perspectives on the issue, indicating a balanced approach. This balanced treatment is necessary for a well-rounded discussion.
coherence cohesion
You have made use of some sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures, which are essential aspects of a higher-level essay. This shows your proficiency in handling complex ideas and expressions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.