There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Education is always important for young people to be successful in their
life
. Some of them believe that only studying extracurricular things is not important so that children can focus only on regular subjects to achieve the best results. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with Fix the agreement mistake
lives
this
idea since learning additional activities
will help for career apart from our regular courses.
On the one hand, increasing pressure on children to be successful in their academics makes them lose focus on any physical activities
. This
would lead to health problems later when they are growing. For example
, youngsters not participating or engaging in any physical activities
will lead to become
obese at a young age . Future they will need to face many health issues even though they are successful in their studies. To avoid Change the verb form
becoming
this
they should participate in sports or any physical activities
which will help them in many ways to relieve stress and keep them fit and healthy.
On the other hand
, learning other activities
will help them to identify their new skills which will eventually give some
motivation in life. Correct pronoun usage
them some
For instance
, even if the person is successful in academics there is no guarantee he will be pursuing successful career opportunities. In this
situation, any additional activities
they learned will help them to get some temporary jobs.
In conclusion, it is equally important to learn additional activities
to have life skills and maintain a healthy.Submitted by mailramkrish on
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introduction conclusion present
Make sure your thesis statement in the introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss.
supported main points
Develop your main points more fully and provide more detailed examples or evidence to support your arguments.
logical structure
Be consistent with your tenses and avoid minor grammatical errors to enhance clarity and readability.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and consistently supports this position throughout.
logical structure
The structure of the essay is logical, with distinct paragraphs for different points.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion summarizes the main argument effectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite