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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people dislike the change in the society and in the I want life and one thing to stay same why should change be regarded as positive

#people #dislike #change #society #life
Changes
invitable
Correct your spelling
inevitable
inevitably
 part of everybody's life which not everybody embraces with open arms.Human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 are bonded by cultures
Correct word choice
and tradition
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tradition
Replace the word
traditional
show examples
 routines which nobody wants to break easily.
This
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
 of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
dislike
Correct subject-verb agreement
dislikes
show examples
 the
change
 and
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
show examples
stereotype
Fix the agreement mistake
stereotypes
show examples
. I will discuss below why
change
 should be regarded
at
Change preposition
as
show examples
 positive. As people dislike
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
change
 and continue the same
due to
 hardship faced in the past life
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
older generation
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
ignore changes as
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 are connected to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society physically mentally and emotionally so any new topics regarded sitting the house
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 always rejected. In
additional
Replace the word
addition
show examples
change
 always fosters
Add an article
the
show examples
growth of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 which is
basic
Add an article
the basic
a basic
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 building block of society.The desire
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
change
 has brought a lot of invention and Discovery as it is clearly visible that
journey
Correct article usage
the journey
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 of
aviation
Add an article
the aviation
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 industry
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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just started with
cycle
Correct article usage
the cycle
show examples
 which is fostered
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
Buss
Fix the agreement mistake
Bus
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 trucks
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
helicopters and modern Boeing.
It is clear that
 not
not
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
everybody
like
Replace the word
likes
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 to impress
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
change
 with open arms
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 might be
due to
 the fast hardship faced.
Additionally
 changes the
facilator
Correct your spelling
facilitator
 of progress and development so
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
 should be
the regarding
Wrong verb form
regarded
show examples
 positively.
Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on

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Grammar
Be mindful of grammatical errors and typographical mistakes. For example, 'invitable' should be 'inevitable', and 'impress' should be 'embrace.'
Detail
Try to expand your essay with more specific examples and explanations to thoroughly support your points. For instance, discuss how societal changes have positively impacted daily life in more detail.
Structure
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly and clearly from one point to the next. Use linking words like 'furthermore,' 'moreover,' and 'on the other hand.'
Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt and discusses why change should be regarded as positive, which is crucial for task response.
Structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your argument, which is essential for coherence and cohesion.
Relevance
Your main points, such as the connection of older generations to traditions and the role of change in fostering growth, are well-chosen and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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