Some people think news has no connection to the people lives. So it is a waste of time to read the news in newspaper and watch television news program. To what extent do you agree or disagree

These days,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology is developing; so that, you can read, listen, and watch
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
, yet some people have various
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
about
news
, and in their opinion
news
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not involve
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
lives. In fact,
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
and
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
television
news
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
are waste
time
Change preposition
of time
show examples
. I broadly
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
this
idea because
read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
or
listen
Wrong verb form
listening
show examples
to
politics
Replace the word
political
show examples
news
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not have any effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
our lives, but crime,
Correct word choice
and weather
show examples
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
things can help us to change some
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
. On the one hand, some
news
such
as crime rate or things
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
related to the Earth can help us to avoid some bad evidence.
For instance
, when we know about the offence in our districts,
then
we add some protection devices for our home;
moreover
, we carry some tools with
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
, or we alter our house to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
safe area.
In addition
,
news
about the weather,
earthquake
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earthquakes
show examples
, and
volcano
Fix the agreement mistake
volcanoes
show examples
help us to change our situation. To illustrate, when we know
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
tomorrow we are going to have
rainy
Add an article
a rainy
show examples
day,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we
are carrying
Wrong verb form
carry
show examples
waterproof
coat
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coats
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or
umbrella
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umbrellas
show examples
.
Also
, when we have
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
show examples
about the
time
of the earth
quick
Change the word
quickly
show examples
;
so that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, we leave dangerous regions.
On the other hand
, we can feel the
politics
Replace the word
political
show examples
alternative;
hence
, we do not listen
or
Change preposition
to or
show examples
read
news
about it;
besides
, these works are real
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
of
waste
Replace the word
wasted
show examples
time
.
For instance
, When the
dollars
Change the noun form
dollar
show examples
price in my country
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
up;
then
the cost of every
equipment
Correct quantifier usage
piece of equipment
show examples
'
increased
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
, and I
understand
Wrong verb form
understood
show examples
what
happen
Wrong verb form
happened
show examples
;
thus
, when I listen to
news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
do not different
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
when I do not know the
news
. In conclusion, for some reasons which I present it. In my view the
news
that can help us to improve our lives
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
good;
however
, other
news
which can sense them do not
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
know about them.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Make sure to have a clear stance at the end of your introduction. For instance, state clearly whether you agree or disagree.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in ideas. Your essay fluctuates between agreeing and disagreeing on the importance of news. Make a clear, consistent argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve your introduction and conclusion by making them more concise and directly addressing the topic.
task achievement
Avoid repetitive phrases and redundant explanations. Focus on providing relevant details once and then elaborating on them.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety and paragraph transitions for a smoother flow of ideas.
task achievement
Your essay provides specific examples such as the impact of weather news and crime reports, which support your points well.
coherence cohesion
The structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs with separate points, and a conclusion, which shows good organizational skills.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sensationalized
  • biased
  • misinformation
  • alternative sources
  • public opinion
  • awareness
  • fostering
  • sense of community
  • information overload
  • shaping
  • productive activities
What to do next:
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