Hosting an international sporting event such as the Olympic Games is good for the country, regardless of the potential negatives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
International athletic competitions,
such
Linking Words
as the
Olympics
Use synonyms
, are beneficial to the nation, even with any potential drawbacks. I concur that it will support the growth of travel within the nation.
However
Linking Words
, I agree that the money set aside for the
Olympics
Use synonyms
will do more harm than good.      
To begin
Linking Words
with, hosting international sports events is beneficial for the
state
Use synonyms
's tourism. Spectators who visit a
country
Use synonyms
to watch the Olympic Games will certainly spend a certain amount of money in that
country
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
will benefit the
state
Use synonyms
in the field of tourism. and makes the name of the host
country
Use synonyms
famous.    
Secondly
Linking Words
, the profit from hosting is usually used to cover the loss. There will be a loss to the Treasury but no profit. Because of the
Olympics
Use synonyms
, a large amount of money is allocated by the
state
Use synonyms
for a stadium or other type of construction. After the
Olympics
Use synonyms
, not all of its parts will return to the
state
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is because the building was expensive and large.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the building is not used much.   In conclusion, hosting international sporting events
such
Linking Words
as the
Olympics
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
developing the
country
Use synonyms
on the one hand, does more harm than good.
Submitted by mamashukuruvbobur31 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides reasons both for and against hosting the Olympics, which is good. However, try to deepen your analysis and provide more specific examples or data to make your points more compelling and believable.
coherence cohesion
Work on your coherence and cohesion by ensuring that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea—this will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repeating words and ideas. You can use synonyms or paraphrase to make your essay more interesting to read. Additionally, aim to provide more balanced arguments rather than predominantly listing negatives.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your essay.
supported main points
Your essay presents multiple viewpoints, which demonstrates an ability to critically think about the topic.
logical structure
The overall structure of your essay is easy to follow, with clear paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: