Some experts believe that when a country is rich, any additional increase in the economic wealth does not satisfy its citizen anymore. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Eccnomical
Correct your spelling
Economical
Economic
stability remains a perennial topic of debate between
nations
Use synonyms
, where some believe that the economy of developed countries has entered a plateau phase and,
therefore
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,
further
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income is not advantageous for them,
while
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others argue that
nations
Use synonyms
, regardless of their economic status, always remain in need of income.
Nonetheless
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, I believe that rich
nations
Use synonyms
do not benefit by generating more income, owing to improvements and advancements that they have already made.
This
Linking Words
essay delves deeper into the reasons why it is true that several rich
nations
Use synonyms
do not require additional funding once
theireconomy
Correct your spelling
their economy
the economy
stabilises. At the outset, several developed
nations
Use synonyms
allocate a major proportion of their funds
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
developing
health
Use synonyms
and educational facilities. To elaborate on
this
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, since
health
Use synonyms
and educational institutes are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
essentials in all regions globally, empowered
nations
Use synonyms
invest a huge portion of money in establishing them, ensuring that every citizen lives a better quality of life.
For instance
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, it is evident that not only is the money used in inaugurating healthcare and learning systems, but
also
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makes them free of charge, facilitating every citizen in terms of
health
Use synonyms
and education, which,
subsequently
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, fortifies and benefits the societies as a whole.
Thus
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,
high profile
Add a hyphen
high-profile
show examples
nations
Use synonyms
guarantee to apportion funds in building the fabric of society.
Furthermore
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,
nations
Use synonyms
with strong
economy
Fix the agreement mistake
economies
show examples
have an increased workforce and employment rate.
In other words
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, financial stability entices people to work for the country,
as well as
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, improves their future prospects of career.
For example
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, when rich countries spend their funds to set up their own enterprises, develop factories and manufacture goods, not only do they increase the employment rate, but
also
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assist
regulating
Change preposition
in regulating
show examples
money within the nation.
Hence
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, one of the goals of the rich
nations
Use synonyms
is to improve the future projection of their dwellers by providing them with several job opportunities. In conclusion, developed countries are so-called because their governments strive to promote the well-being of their people, in terms of
health
Use synonyms
, education and career. In my perspective,
additional
Correct article usage
an additional
show examples
increase in
finances
Correct article usage
the finances
show examples
of these
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
does not have any
further
Linking Words
outcome as their population already enjoys the virtues of being stabilised and empowered economically.
Submitted by hadia.iftikhar126 on

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task achievement
Ensure that there is consistency throughout the essay. For instance, maintaining the same argument across paragraphs and sections will bolster your task achievement score.
task achievement
While the examples given are valuable, try to provide more specific and detailed examples to further support the main points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
language
Improve on grammatical accuracy and lexical precision. Watch out for minor spelling errors and typos such as 'theireconomy' which should be 'their economy'. These small details can impact the overall impression of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider using transition words and phrases more effectively to ensure smooth progression and logical connection between ideas. This can enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
introduction
You have a clear and comprehensive introduction that sets the context and presents your viewpoint effectively.
conclusion
The conclusion successfully reiterates the main argument and ties the essay together, giving a strong finish to your discussion.
body paragraphs
The main points are well-supported and logically structured, allowing the reader to follow your argument with ease.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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