Some experts believe that when a country is rich, any additional increase in the economic wealth does not satisfy its citizen anymore. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Eccnomical
stability remains a perennial topic of debate between Correct your spelling
Economical
Economic
nations
, where some believe that the economy of developed countries has entered a plateau phase and,therefore
, further
income is not advantageous for them, while
others argue that nations
, regardless of their economic status, always remain in need of income. Nonetheless
, I believe that rich nations
do not benefit by generating more income, owing to improvements and advancements that they have already made. This
essay delves deeper into the reasons why it is true that several rich nations
do not require additional funding once theireconomy
stabilises.
At the outset, several developed Correct your spelling
their economy
the economy
nations
allocate a major proportion of their funds in
developing Change preposition
to
health
and educational facilities. To elaborate on this
, since health
and educational institutes are the
essentials in all regions globally, empowered Correct article usage
apply
nations
invest a huge portion of money in establishing them, ensuring that every citizen lives a better quality of life. For instance
,
it is evident that not only is the money used in inaugurating healthcare and learning systems, but also
makes them free of charge, facilitating every citizen in terms of health
and education, which, subsequently
, fortifies and benefits the societies as a whole. Thus
, high profile
Add a hyphen
high-profile
nations
guarantee to apportion funds in building the fabric of society.
Furthermore
, nations
with strong economy
have an increased workforce and employment rate. Fix the agreement mistake
economies
In other words
, financial stability entices people to work for the country, as well as
, improves their future prospects of career. For example
, when rich countries spend their funds to set up their own enterprises, develop factories and manufacture goods, not only do they increase the employment rate, but also
assist regulating
money within the nation. Change preposition
in regulating
Hence
, one of the goals of the rich nations
is to improve the future projection of their dwellers by providing them with several job opportunities.
In conclusion, developed countries are so-called because their governments strive to promote the well-being of their people, in terms of health
, education and career. In my perspective, additional
increase in Correct article usage
an additional
finances
of these Correct article usage
the finances
nation
does not have any Fix the agreement mistake
nations
further
outcome as their population already enjoys the virtues of being stabilised and empowered economically.Submitted by hadia.iftikhar126 on
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task achievement
Ensure that there is consistency throughout the essay. For instance, maintaining the same argument across paragraphs and sections will bolster your task achievement score.
task achievement
While the examples given are valuable, try to provide more specific and detailed examples to further support the main points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
language
Improve on grammatical accuracy and lexical precision. Watch out for minor spelling errors and typos such as 'theireconomy' which should be 'their economy'. These small details can impact the overall impression of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider using transition words and phrases more effectively to ensure smooth progression and logical connection between ideas. This can enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
introduction
You have a clear and comprehensive introduction that sets the context and presents your viewpoint effectively.
conclusion
The conclusion successfully reiterates the main argument and ties the essay together, giving a strong finish to your discussion.
body paragraphs
The main points are well-supported and logically structured, allowing the reader to follow your argument with ease.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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