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Band 2.5

Some people is like the change in diet society and their own life and one things to stay the safe why do some people want things to stay the same why should change be regard as something positive

#people #change #diet #society #life
There is argue among people who dislike the
change
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 say that
change
 is essential for development and should be
embrashed
Correct your spelling
embraced
embarrassed
below I will discuss why individuals dislike the
change
 and
it
Rephrase
why it
show examples
 should be regarded as positive.
To begin
 with, as we all know that human
being
Change the noun form
beings
show examples
 are
social
Add an article
a social
show examples
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 and
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
 connected by friendship, relation and harmony which give safety and security
as well as
 their past like employment,economic and settlement could prevent them from
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
 example our
grand parents
Correct your spelling
grandparents
show examples
 don't want to shift to
apartment
Add an article
an apartment
the apartment
show examples
 in the city because they dislike the
change
such
 as new society in neighbourhood
momer
Correct your spelling
monomer
would
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
society and safety could avoid them as they are used to it so just I want to remain in the peace.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 every
materials
Change to a singular noun
material
show examples
 on the earth gradually evolving
where
Correct word choice
and
show examples
changes integral part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life. In modern old all the
invention
Fix the agreement mistake
inventions
show examples
 and
Discovery
Fix the agreement mistake
Discoveries
show examples
 are the product of
change
 which are able to influence
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 positive development
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 transportation sector 6
begin
Correct subject-verb agreement
begins
show examples
 just by a cycle casually wall to different forms like our boss struck and the modern jet planes which are slowly developed by the trust of
change
 to bring positive impacting judiciary so it is it should be regarded as positive
to conclude
 in some individual refrigerator only as
as
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
every
every
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
everything.
Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph clearly presents a single idea and logically follows the previous one. Use more transition words and phrases to link ideas and sentences.
coherence cohesion
Introduce the topic more clearly in the introduction and make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points. A structured layout will greatly enhance the readability and logical flow of your essay.
task response
To achieve a more complete response to the task, make sure all parts of the prompt are clearly addressed. Expand on why some people like change and provide more detailed examples. Likewise, provide a balanced discussion on why change can be positive.
task response
Clarify your ideas by using simpler sentence structures and more precise vocabulary. This will make your arguments more comprehensible. Ensure each idea is fully developed before moving on to the next point.
task response
Use more specific examples to support your points. Examples should be directly related to the argument and be elaborated to illustrate your point clearly. Avoid vague or overly general examples.
task response
You make an effort to present both sides of the argument, which is commendable. This showcases an understanding that balanced discussion is important in essay writing.
task response
Your essay attempts to incorporate real-life examples, such as referencing grandparents. This can make your argument more relatable and practical.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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