Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people argue that industrial growth is leading to poverty and it should be stopped. Discuss both view.

Many
nation
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nations
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are of the view that the ideal way to address
femine
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feminism
is by promoting
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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which are relevant to
a
Remove the article
apply
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society
.
Whereas
A school of thought holds the perception that
expansion
of production is dominant to famine and
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
politics needs to put a hold on it. The essay will elaborate
both
Change preposition
on both
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sides and give a point of view.
On the other hand
, the
expansion
of production improves the employment rate in a particular
society
and gives job opportunities thereby promoting the quality livelihood of the population in the
society
.
Furthermore
, the construction of trade boosts income for national development
due to
increased taxes to the officials which could be allocated to different sectors
such
as education and health. Nowadays increasing amount of trade in our
society
has improved infrastructural development
such
as roads and railways which makes the transport of goods readily accessible and convenient.
On the other hand
,
due to
increasing industrial
expansion
, the cost of living
such
as rent,
food
and transportation charges has been hyped. Public living in these areas
tend
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tends
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to pay higher than those in the countryside. Nowadays overpopulation is the leading cause of underdevelopment
as a result
of the work ratio of
human
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humans
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decreases
Wrong verb form
decreasing
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. A country which is overpopulated faces famine since authority or cooperating individuals may not have access to enough
site
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sites
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for the construction of business,
therefore
everything will be imported which will do harm rather than good to
society
.
Food
prices have gone higher these days and
is
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are
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a basic necessity for every individual since one cannot survive without
food
.
According to
research importation of
food
items
such
as rice, and cooking oil has reached
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
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peak of about 78.5% which shouldn't be so.
To conclude
, the
expansion
of business is relevant since it addresses underdevelopment by boosting authority income through tax,
improves
Wrong verb form
improving
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the employment rate and
increases
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
Job opportunities for the public in the state. There will be an increase in infrastructure development.
In contrast
, industrial
expansion
can lead to higher costs of living and overpopulation in the state
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task achievement
The essay generally addresses both perspectives regarding industrial growth and its effects on poverty; however, some ideas lack depth and clarity. To improve, try to delve deeper into each argument, providing more detailed analysis and examples.
coherence cohesion
Although the general structure of the essay is clear and includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, there are some areas where transitions between ideas could be smoother. Work on improving the flow of the essay by using linking words and phrases more effectively to connect your arguments.
task achievement
While there are some specific examples given, such as the mention of taxes and employment rates, these examples could be more directly aligned with the main arguments. Aim to incorporate more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your points.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses both viewpoints regarding industrial growth and its potential to solve or contribute to poverty. It concludes with a balanced summary of both sides.
coherence cohesion
The structure includes a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a coherent and cohesive framework within which arguments are presented.
task achievement
There are attempts to use relevant examples, such as the impact of trade on tax revenue and infrastructure development.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial growth
  • poverty
  • income opportunities
  • technological advancements
  • productivity
  • income inequality
  • wealthy individuals
  • corporations
  • environmental impacts
  • impoverished communities
  • sustainable development
  • inclusive development
  • alleviation
  • measures
  • accompany
  • concerns
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