IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

While
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 some argue that driving your own vehicle is the most efficient way in a
city
Use synonyms
, others believe riding a bicycle is the best option. In my opinion,
although
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 a
car
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 can be a convenient method, a bicycle will surely be a flexible solution in
this
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 regard. Owning a
car
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 can be useful in different circumstances.
Firstly
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, it gives you more space and security to cope
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with the daily routines. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, a
car
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 will be the ultimate option for a family with children to travel around the
city
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.
Secondly
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, having air conditioning in summer will be the best way to deal
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 heat.
On the other hand
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, finding parking in a busy
city
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 will be an uphill task.
moreover
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, the rising parking fee and the traffic will surely be a dilemma for many. hustling through the
city
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in
Change preposition
on
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 a
bike
Use synonyms
 will surely save a lot of time and cost.
To begin
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 with, countries are encouraging more
bike
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 lanes in the
cities
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 to eradicate greenhouse emissions by gas engines.
Secondly
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, buying a
bike
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 can be cheaper than a
car
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.
In addition
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 to
this
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, many major
cities
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 are implementing more
bike
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 lanes to achieve less carbon emissions which will make manoeuvring in the
cities
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 much easier.
However
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,
safety
Add an article
the safety
show examples
 of the riders
are
Change the verb form
is
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 in question
due to
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 the high number of accidents on the
rising
Replace the word
rise
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 and
also
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 the lack of parking spots near offices. In conclusion, a
car
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 could increase flexibility among families, but if the
cities
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 could improve the
bike
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 lanes and give ample space options, bikes will pave
way
Add an article
the way
show examples
 to more greener
cities
Use synonyms
 and healthy individuals.

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task response
Your essay responds well to the task, addressing both sides of the issue. However, to improve clarity and comprehension, you might want to explore each point in more depth and add more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use better transition words and phrases to ensure smooth flow between your ideas. Additionally, by working on having uniform paragraphs with distinct topics, your essay will become more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are clear, varying sentence structures and vocabulary will help keep the reader engaged and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a strong framework for your essay.
task achievement
Your essay covers both perspectives, showing a balanced view on the topic.
logical structure
Good logical structure is present; each paragraph explains one side of the argument, followed by a conclusion that states your opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • pollution
  • maintenance
  • eco-friendly
  • infrastructure
  • physical health
  • suitable
  • weather conditions
  • traffic
  • repair costs
  • cycling infrastructure
  • fuel costs
  • carrying heavy loads
  • physical limitations
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