Some people believe that the rapid development of Artificial Intelligence (AI) will completely replace human workers in the near future. Others argue that AI will merely act as a tool to enhance human productivity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is an ongoing debate about how AI will affect
people
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in the future.
While
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some argue that it replaces working
people
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, others believe it will work as a tool to improve human productivity.
While
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many
people
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agree with the first option, I believe that the
benefits
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of the second one far exceed the drawbacks.
To begin
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with, there are myths that AI will replace workers in the near future. Undeniably,
this
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benefits
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factories and corporations, but it
also
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leaves ordinary
people
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unemployed and without money. In the end,
this
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leads to a monopoly of the whole world over time - many
people
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will remain poor,
while
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the rich will have large companies. Eventually, if
this
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trend continues unconstrained, the era of human performance will collapse.
On the other hand
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, if AI is used as a tool to improve human productivity, it will be far more beneficial than harmful.
For instance
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, if
people
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start making a clear daily plan for continuous improvement, human performance and development will improve significantly. Experiments show that in
this
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era, most human development is associated with personal learning with the help of AI, which is considered the expected result of productivity.
Consequently
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, individual efficiency reaches unprecedented levels. Having come to the conclusion that
while
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the use of AI and intelligent robots in companies will have significant
benefits
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for corporations, it creates big global problems for ordinary
people
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, it is evident that the gradual development of the human mind with the help of AI brings greater long-term
benefits
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, which is already a developing side these days.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about both views, but the side about AI as a tool needs more clear detail.
task response
Give more real and clear examples. The idea about daily plans is not very strong for this topic.
task response
Explain your opinion in a more direct way in the body, not only in the start and end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are hard to follow because the link between them is weak.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler and clearer topic sentences for each body paragraph.
task response
You clearly show your opinion from the start.
task response
You discuss both views, not only one side.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has both an introduction and a conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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