IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child's development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

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Choosing
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right
gift
Use synonyms
 for a
child
Use synonyms
 can be a difficult task as you always look for a thing that
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 only good
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 entertaining but
also
Linking Words
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some
growth
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will illustrate
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
gift
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 good for
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 development and I will
also
Linking Words
 illustrate reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I will always choose a pet as a
gift
Use synonyms
 that helps a
child
Use synonyms
 with
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overall
Linking Words
growth
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 daily happiness. A
pet like
Add a hyphen
pet-like
show examples
dog
Use synonyms
 or a cat at
homes
Fix the agreement mistake
home
show examples
 makes
huge
Add an article
a huge
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 difference
while
Linking Words
 toddlers
Use synonyms
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, pets play with kids and help them to have an immense of physical exercise,
moreover
Linking Words
, pets are the only living
gift
Use synonyms
 you can buy for someone
where
Correct word choice
whose
show examples
 love for it will never
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fade.
For example
Linking Words
, when
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 was young, my father brought a
dog
Use synonyms
 for me and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 used to play a lot with him and
love
Correct pronoun usage
my love
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 for her is everlasting.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are numerous benefits of gifting a pet
such
Linking Words
 as a
dog
Use synonyms
, a cat or other.
Firstly
Linking Words
, children
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
 emotionally attached to them and the care they show towards them makes a
child
Use synonyms
 responsible. Kids
loves
Change the verb form
love
show examples
 to provide them
food
Change preposition
with food
show examples
,
water
Correct word choice
and water
show examples
 and play with them,
this
Linking Words
 gives them extreme happiness which helps them to stay away from stress and education burden.
For instance
Linking Words
, at my school age a few years ago, after arriving
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
home
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 used to play with my
dog
Use synonyms
 and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 felt
relex
Correct your spelling
relaxed
relax
 and fresh afterwards.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I would like to assert that,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will always
chooses
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
 pets to
gift
Use synonyms
 for the best and
overall
Linking Words
child
Use synonyms
 development as it carries
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 beneficial impact on a
Use synonyms
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
growth
Use synonyms
.

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introduction conclusion
In the introduction, try to avoid repetition and provide a clearer thesis statement. For example, 'Choosing a gift for a child can be challenging, but a pet can contribute significantly to their development through emotional bonding, responsibility, and physical activity.'
introduction conclusion
Ensure that the essay has a strong conclusion that effectively summarizes the main points. This helps in reinforcing your argument and complements the overall structure.
logical structure
Work on sentence structure and variety to improve fluency and readability. Mixed sentence types (simple, compound, complex) make the essay more engaging.
clear comprehensive ideas
Proofread for minor grammatical errors and punctuation issues to enhance the clarity of your ideas. For example, 'when i was young, my father brought a dog for me...' can be improved to 'When I was young, my father brought home a dog for me...'
complete response
The essay presents a clear argument for why gifting a pet can benefit a child's development.
relevant specific examples
The inclusion of personal examples adds credibility and relatability to the essay.
supported main points
The points about emotional attachment, responsibility, and stress relief are well-explained and relevant to the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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