Some people say that the main environmental proble of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental probles discuss both views

Environmental
problems
have been growing rapidly since the beginning of the era,
one
of the controversial
issue
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issues
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debating on the topic of whether the
extinction
of
the
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apply
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living creatures is considered as a main
problems
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problem
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of the environmental concerns or not. Some may agree
in
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to
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some extent
whlist
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while
some opponents may disagree,
however
after thorough consideration, though there are several crucial
problems
on
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in
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the environment, it is strongly believed that the problem
on
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of
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the loss of some
species
of
plants
and animals should be taken
in to
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into
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account. It is inarguable that there are
a
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plenty of
on-goings
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ongoing
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issues
on
the
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environmental
problems
such
as
the
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climate change, impacting
by
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apply
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the world's population
direct
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in direct
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and indirect ways. These
issues
are
the
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fundamental
issues
affecting in global scale leading to the occurrence of
the
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natural
disaster
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disasters
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such
as
the
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flood
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floods
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, extreme weather and rising sea levels.
Nonetheless
, the
problems
of loss of
the
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biodiversity should not be put down by any chance.
One
of several reasons indicating the crucial loss of
species
is that it highly affects the
overall
biodiversity on Earth. To elaborate, losing
one
species
in the ecosystem could be viewed as a disruption of the food chain.
This
will result in an overgrowth of populations of its prey, and the predators will lose their food
then
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and then
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may die out of hunger.
For instance
, if there was the
extinction
of the whale, the numbers of
planktons
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plankton
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would double
while
the Orcas would lose their food source.
Furthermore
, the
extinction
of the
species
could lead to other environmental
problems
. To enumerate, some animals are vital for the plant’s fertilization which means when
one
species
is extinct the number of
plants
will decline which can lead to the
problems
of air pollutants. Bees
is
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are
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one
obvious example, if there was the
extinction
of bees, not only the
plants
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plant's
plants'
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numbers decrease, but the pollutants will be increase
also
due to
the
facts
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fact
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that the
plants
is
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are
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the air purificators. In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a plethora of
on-going
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ongoing
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problems
on
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in
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the environmental aspects, but the
issues
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issue
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of losing the
species
of
plants
and animals acts as
one
of the important roots of the environmental crisis which could lead to
further
environmental
problems
.
Submitted by pattaraporn.konj on

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good grasp of the topic and addresses both sides of the discussion. However, some sentences could be clearer. Simplifying complex sentences will make your arguments easier to follow for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear point, and use topic sentences to introduce them. This will help in maintaining a clear logical structure throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
It would be helpful to use more transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will foster clearer connections and improve coherence.
task achievement
You have thoroughly discussed both views as required by the prompt, giving weight to each argument.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and presents a clear stance on the issue.
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