Some people say that the main environmental proble of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental probles discuss both views

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Environmental
problems
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have been growing rapidly since the beginning of the era,
one
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of the controversial
issue
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issues
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debating on the topic of whether the
extinction
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of
the
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apply
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living creatures is considered as a main
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problems
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problem
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of the environmental concerns or not. Some may agree
in
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to
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some extent
whlist
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while
some opponents may disagree,
however
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after thorough consideration, though there are several crucial
problems
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on
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in
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the environment, it is strongly believed that the problem
on
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of
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the loss of some
species
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of
plants
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and animals should be taken
in to
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into
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account. It is inarguable that there are
a
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apply
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plenty of
on-goings
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ongoing
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issues
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on
the
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apply
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environmental
problems
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such
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as
the
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apply
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climate change, impacting
by
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apply
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the world's population
direct
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in direct
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and indirect ways. These
issues
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are
the
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apply
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fundamental
issues
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affecting in global scale leading to the occurrence of
the
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apply
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natural
disaster
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disasters
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such
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as
the
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apply
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flood
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floods
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, extreme weather and rising sea levels.
Nonetheless
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, the
problems
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of loss of
the
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apply
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biodiversity should not be put down by any chance.
One
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of several reasons indicating the crucial loss of
species
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is that it highly affects the
overall
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biodiversity on Earth. To elaborate, losing
one
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species
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in the ecosystem could be viewed as a disruption of the food chain.
This
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will result in an overgrowth of populations of its prey, and the predators will lose their food
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then
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and then
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may die out of hunger.
For instance
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, if there was the
extinction
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of the whale, the numbers of
planktons
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plankton
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would double
while
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the Orcas would lose their food source.
Furthermore
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, the
extinction
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of the
species
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could lead to other environmental
problems
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. To enumerate, some animals are vital for the plant’s fertilization which means when
one
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species
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is extinct the number of
plants
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will decline which can lead to the
problems
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of air pollutants. Bees
is
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are
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one
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obvious example, if there was the
extinction
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of bees, not only the
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plants
Change to a genitive case
plant's
plants'
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numbers decrease, but the pollutants will be increase
also
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due to
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the
facts
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fact
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that the
plants
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is
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are
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the air purificators. In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a plethora of
on-going
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ongoing
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problems
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on
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in
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the environmental aspects, but the
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issues
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issue
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of losing the
species
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of
plants
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and animals acts as
one
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of the important roots of the environmental crisis which could lead to
further
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environmental
problems
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.
Submitted by pattaraporn.konj on

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good grasp of the topic and addresses both sides of the discussion. However, some sentences could be clearer. Simplifying complex sentences will make your arguments easier to follow for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear point, and use topic sentences to introduce them. This will help in maintaining a clear logical structure throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
It would be helpful to use more transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will foster clearer connections and improve coherence.
task achievement
You have thoroughly discussed both views as required by the prompt, giving weight to each argument.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and presents a clear stance on the issue.
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