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Writing Samples /
Band 5

some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers Discus both views and give your opinion

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #discus
There are arguments about
professional's
Change noun form
professional
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occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
 like doctors and engineers should serve
their
Change the word
the
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 nation
which
Change preposition
in which
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 they study and train .And they have
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 to choose which country they want to
woke
Verb problem
work
show examples
 in . I believe people have the ability to decide
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own where they want to
work
 . In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss both sides of the argument in
following
Correct article usage
the following
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 paragraphs . Diverse points endorse the reasons for that
argue
Replace the word
argument
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. The principal among all is
leak
Correct your spelling
the lack
show examples
 of professional
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health
 care services in many
countries
although
 those have very high numbers of graduated doctors, nurses and
other
Change the wording
another health technician
other health technicians
show examples
health
 technician which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to huge pressure on hospitals and
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
 heath centers insufficient
health
 care professionals to
server
Replace the word
serve
show examples
 that big numbers of patients
for example
, India had very high numbers of
health
 professionals But most of them immigrate to other
countries
 for better income . Turning to the other side of
this
 issue, People
send
Correct your spelling
spend
show examples
 time , money and effort to be professionals so they
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 the right to do what can serve
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 benefits like
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
 jobs that suit their interests and with good
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
for example
 .Apart from that
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
 like doctors require to
work
Change preposition
in
show examples
several
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries
 to gain more experience
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 knowledge so I believe that
countries
 should not force their citizens to
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
 where they train
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
better to understand what their citizens need and give them better opportunities than other nations to keep their
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 workers. In conclusion, having discussed
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
, it can be
interred
Correct your spelling
inferred
show examples
 that no doubt , professional immigration can lead to
crisis
Add an article
a crisis
show examples
 for many
countries
 ,
Nevertheless
 people have the right to choose where to
work
 to increase their knowledge and incomes.
Submitted by may.al.zemami on

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grammar
Work on grammar and punctuation to improve clarity. Simple errors sometimes obscure your meaning.
content
Some points need more examples or explanations to fully support your argument.
structure
Consider organizing your paragraphs better. Your points can be clearer with a more distinct structure.
task
The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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