Some people say that the main environmental proble of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems
We live in an age when there are some cities which create new housing for their residents by constructing a smaller number of high-rise skyscrapers.
To
my way of thinking, I personally view those living in vertical city will expose Change preposition
From
further
benefits than those who live in rural areas.
On the one hand, low-rise buildings can lead to urban sprawl which provides more job opportunities in the outskirt areas. As can be seen in the perimeter city, if there are more residential places there will be more job
needed in that Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
area
. For instance
, when there are more residential places with a number of inhabitants there will be more restaurants near that area
. Moreover
, another crucial factor is that the horizontal property might integrate better with existing infrastructure and can avoid the challenge of overcrowding in public spaces and transport. To demonstrate, the large area
will a low-density population will rarely experience traffic congestion.
On the other hand
, despite having some advantages of low-rise building construction, there are far
the most benefits of Change preposition
by far
the
high-rise buildings. It is often claimed to be more environmentally sustainable as it can accommodate Correct article usage
apply
a
enormous number of people in smaller footprints, which could provide more place for the greens and preserve Change the article
an
the
nature. Correct article usage
apply
Consequently
, there could be more area
for the park and other green spaces. Another vital factor is the cost-effectiveness of the skyscrapers. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
This
is because it is
not only offers cheaper prices compared to the low-rise buildings but provides a convenient lifestyle to the residents Unnecessary verb
apply
also
. Thus
, living in the
high-rise constructions could be beneficial to both Correct article usage
apply
environment
and humans.
In conclusion, to put it simply, Correct article usage
the environment
while
it is true to say that horizontal living could proffer positive impacts, in fact, living in a vertical city offers far more potential advantages.Submitted by pattaraporn.konj on
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task achievement
Strengthen your task response by making sure you address all parts of the prompt explicitly. Mention the environmental aspect and compare the vertical city living directly with rural living, as your essay touched more on urban versus suburban rather than rural areas.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure to use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph that directly tie back to the main question. Additionally, work on using more varied transitional phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Add more specific examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, highlight a city known for its high-rise buildings and its environmental benefits. This will make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
You presented a well-structured argument with a clear introduction and conclusion. The paragraphs were logically sequenced and easy to follow.
task achievement
You provided relevant ideas and main points to support your view on high-rise living versus horizontal living. This included environmental sustainability and cost-effectiveness.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.