Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Many people, and children
in particular
, enjoy playing computer games
.
While
I accept that these games
can sometimes have a positive effect onthe
user, I believe that they are more likely to have a harmful impact.On the one hand, video Correct your spelling
on the
games
can be both entertaining and educational.
Users, or gamers, are transported into virtual worlds which are often more exciting and engaging than real-life pastimes. From an educational perspective, these games
encourage imagination and creativity, as well
as concentration, logical thinking and problem solving
, all of which are
useful skills outside the gaming context. Add a hyphen
problem-solving
Furthermore
, it has been shown that computer simulation games
can improve users’ motor skills and help to
prepare them for real-world tasks, Verb problem
apply
such
as flying a plane.
However
, I would argue that these benefits are outweighed by the
drawbacks. Gaming can be highly addictive because users are constantly given scores, new targets and frequent rewards to keep them
playing. Many children now spend hours each day trying to progress
through the levels of a game of
to get a higher score than their friends. Change preposition
apply
This
type of addiction can have effects ranging from lack of sleep to problems at school,
when homework is sacrificed for a few more hours on the computer or console. The rise in obesity in recent years has Remove the comma
apply
also
been linked in part to the sedentary lifestyle and lack of exercise that often accompany
gaming addiction. In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential dangers of video Correct subject-verb agreement
accompanies
games
are more significant than the possible benefits.Submitted by www.marzieh.eidi on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score in coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logically flows to the next.
task achievement
While your task response is generally effective, working on providing more depth and development of your main points can strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear perspective on the topic and balances the positive and negative impacts of video games.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effective in framing your argument, making the essay well-organized.
task achievement
You've included relevant examples that effectively illustrate your points about the educational value and addiction potential of video games.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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