Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

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Many people, and children
in particular
, enjoy playing computer
games
.
While
I accept that these
games
can sometimes have a positive effect
onthe
Correct your spelling
on the
user, I believe that they are more likely to have a harmful impact.On the one hand, video
games
can be both entertaining and educational. Users, or gamers, are transported into virtual worlds which are often more exciting and engaging than real-life pastimes. From an educational perspective, these
games
encourage imagination and creativity, as well as concentration, logical thinking and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
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, all of which are useful skills outside the gaming context.
Furthermore
, it has been shown that computer simulation
games
can improve users’ motor skills and help
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
prepare them for real-world tasks,
such
as flying a plane.
However
, I would argue that these benefits are outweighed by the drawbacks. Gaming can be highly addictive because users are constantly given scores, new targets and frequent rewards to keep them playing. Many children now spend hours each day trying to progress through the levels of a game
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to get a higher score than their friends.
This
type of addiction can have effects ranging from lack of sleep to problems at school
,
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when homework is sacrificed for a few more hours on the computer or console. The rise in obesity in recent years has
also
been linked in part to the sedentary lifestyle and lack of exercise that often
accompany
Correct subject-verb agreement
accompanies
show examples
gaming addiction. In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential dangers of video
games
are more significant than the possible benefits.
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
While your task response is generally effective, working on providing more depth and development of your main points can strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear perspective on the topic and balances the positive and negative impacts of video games.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effective in framing your argument, making the essay well-organized.
task achievement
You've included relevant examples that effectively illustrate your points about the educational value and addiction potential of video games.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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