Some people think all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”
Crime is a serious offence and,
therefore
, requires punishment. Linking Words
While
some argue that all law offenders should be imprisoned, others believe that criminals should be conditioned in other ways. Linking Words
Nonetheless
, I opine that seldom do lawbreakers require imprisonment; Linking Words
while
many of them can be counselled in a way that fortifies societies, Linking Words
as well as
enhances the future projections of Linking Words
such
individuals.
On the one hand, since people participating in unlawful activities are aware of their consequences, they should be deterred by giving life sentences of imprisonment. Linking Words
In other words
, despite being well-known to the nature of activities and their subsequent results, many adults and juveniles still tend to be involved in delinquency; Linking Words
as a result
, courts should take severe actions against them which, not only do they teach lessons to the prisoner, but Linking Words
also
implicitly convey the message to the remainder of the population. Linking Words
For instance
,in many regions, punishment for delinquency is the same for all age groups because reforms and laws have already been clearly elaborated; it is the criminal mindset that provokes individuals to commit Linking Words
offence
. Add an article
the offence
an offence
Thus
, the only strategy that guarantees Linking Words
safety
of societies and Add an article
the safety
to segregate
lawbreakers from the general population is by putting them behind bars.
Change the verb form
segregates
On the other hand
, ex-convicts should be counselled and should be provided with therapy sessions that change their personalities for good and Linking Words
prepares
them to become responsible members of society. To elaborate on Correct subject-verb agreement
prepare
this
, other alternatives, Linking Words
such
as offering training programmes, re-education and re-socialisation not only Linking Words
do they
eradicate the anti-social behaviour from the individual, but Verb problem
apply
also
enhance their future job prospects despite the criminal record. Linking Words
For example
, providing particular training programmes hones new skills, which offenders can employ in their jobs; owing to Linking Words
this
, there are reduced chances of reoffending or breaking laws. Linking Words
Hence
, Linking Words
instead
of incarcerating delinquents, better steps should be taken, in order to reshape Linking Words
such
criminals into responsible contributors to societies.
In conclusion, Linking Words
albeit
several delinquencies require harsh punishments, that does not imply that all offenders should be treated the same; numerous other methods can be opted for that can prompt a change in behaviour in criminals. In my perspective, it is imperative to Correct word choice
although
instill
values and modify the behaviour of people committing crimes at a smaller scale, rather than imprisoning them which can Change the spelling
instil
further
have negative implications for their personalities.Linking Words
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task achievement
In the introduction, provide a clearer thesis statement that briefly summarizes the key points you will discuss in the essay. This will enhance the reader's understanding of your position and the overall direction of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence that explicitly states the main point you will discuss. This helps with the logical flow of your essay and makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures more to improve readability and maintain the reader's interest. Although your use of complex sentences is good, a mix of simple and compound sentences can create a better balance.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion by outlining the two opposing views on the topic. This provides a clear starting point for the reader.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, such as detailing the benefits of training programs and counseling to reduce reoffending rates. This strengthens your arguments and shows critical thinking.
logical structure
The essay demonstrates a good logical structure with each paragraph focusing on one main idea. This helps in maintaining coherence and makes your argument more persuasive.
introduction conclusion present
You concluded the essay effectively by summarizing your main points and reiterating your stance. This brings closure to your discussion in a concise manner.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.