IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?

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Some individuals believe that
people
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 who are not familiar with social
media
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 will always fall back on career development
opportunities
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.
However
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, others argue that there are other areas employees and business owners should focus on
,
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apply
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 because our world is so dependent on
media
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 platforms these days. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and argue that
while
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 social
media
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 has its consequences and many
people
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 use it negatively, it will remain a significant part of our lives, possibly leading to better
job
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opportunities
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, increased salaries, and new relationships, allowing easier communication and access to knowledge and education all around the world. First and foremost, many full-time and part-time jobs nowadays are advertised online and most
people
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 should be familiar with them because
otherwise
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, they could lose vital chances of finding their dream career.
For instance
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, many
people
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 have started social
media
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 only after the COVID-19 pandemic and have continued using it until now,
although
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 the pandemic has ended and many returned to their regular lives. Many jobs don’t even require employees to be present these days because they work remotely from the comfort of their own
home
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homes
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.
While
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 studying and working from home has gained tons of popularity, the need for in-person employees is still valid and required immensely so, being in touch with several platforms,
such
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 as
linkedin
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LinkedIn
Linkedin
,
instagram
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Instagram
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, and
facebook
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Facebook
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 for
job
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opportunities
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 is very crucial, especially in the 21st century where everything has been about technology and artificial intelligence.
Conversely
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, many
people
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 still refuse to use any platforms because they believe it is not as useful and beneficial in various work sectors,
such
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 as
job
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 recruitment, career development, and
job
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 promotion
opportunities
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.
While
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 social
media
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 remains a dark place
due to
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 fraud and scams spread all over the internet. Remaining cautious by only visiting official websites and profiles will ensure
safety
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the safety
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 and security
to
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of
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 all users. In conclusion, social
media
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 will remain an important pillar in our
life
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lives
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due to
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 its advantages in several fields, particularly work sectors. Aiding smooth and seamless communication for the benefit of each other when it comes to
job
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opportunities
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, regardless of the minor consequences it offers, especially because knowledge on cyber security has been developing, causing less digital crimes and
overall
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 better benefits in communication, leading to far greater
job
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opportunities
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 with no restrictions involved.

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task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and well-rounded.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph develops one main idea only, and use clear topic sentences. This will enhance the logical structure of your essay.
grammar
Avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to make your essay clearer and more professional. For example, rephrase 'many people have started social media only after the COVID-19 pandemic' to 'many people only started using social media after the COVID-19 pandemic.'
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well.
task achievement
You successfully discuss both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on the topic.
task achievement
You demonstrate a good understanding of the importance of social media in modern job markets and how it can offer various benefits.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Networking
  • Professional growth
  • Digital footprint
  • LinkedIn
  • Online presence
  • Industry trends
  • Personal branding
  • Digital literacy
  • Direct applications
  • Privacy concerns
  • Professional image
  • Career trajectory
  • Social media platforms
  • Traditional networking
  • Information accessibility
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