The tourism industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Tourism
has been around for millennia, but in the late twentieth century
it exploded in popularity. Nowadays, millions of Add a comma
century,
people
take off on holiday during their summer and winter vacations, often to foreign countries. It generally
considered a positive phenomenon, bringing the Add a missing verb
is generally
people
of the world closer together and boosting the economies of developing countries. However
, there are some drawbacks. The benefits of tourism
are obvious.
For a start, it is a boon to the economy of the destination receiving the tourists
. Generally speaking, when tourists
visit a region, they spend money
that can go into the pockets of the local people
, improving their livelihoods. Tourism
also
brings cultures together by fostering interactions between people
from opposite sides of the globe, and this
in terms brings educational opportunities. However
, international tourism
comes with some major drawbacks.
For one thing, there are always unknown factors that may limit the amount of money
tourists
spend, like natural disasters or terrorist attacks. This
means that having a tourism
-based economy offers an unreliable and unstable future. In addition
, tourism
is not always equitable, and money
spent in the local economy doesn’t necessarily benefit the country equally. For example
, tourists
visit North Korea but the money
they spend goes directly to corrupt government officials rather than the hard-working people
who are providing services to the tourists
.
Finally
, tourism
tends to cause environmental problems that may negatively impact the lives of people
(and wildlife) in the destination country. In conclusion, tourism
has many positive attributes and can certainly help bring people
from different cultures together; however
, it also
poses some problems, and for the places which receive the
Correct article usage
apply
tourists
, there can be some disadvantagesSubmitted by misstiasclassroom on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a fair structure. Consider creating clearer and more explicit topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument. This will improve the logical flow and make the essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
You have presented an introduction and a conclusion, which is good practice. However, make sure your introduction includes a clear thesis statement, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but there is room for improvement. Aim to develop your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. This will enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
task achievement
You've addressed the task, but the response could be more complete. Be sure to fully explore both sides of the argument while providing a more definitive personal stance on the issue in the conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas are fairly clear, but consider developing them further to provide a more comprehensive analysis. Expand on the implications and consequences of tourism, both positive and negative, to offer a more nuanced discussion.
task achievement
Specific examples used in your essay are relevant, but they must be developed further. Integrating more detailed examples with clear links to your main points will strengthen your argument and illustrate your points more vividly.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example