IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
It is certainly true and totally agree that
teenagers
 should do unpaid volunteer
work
 for the
community
 during their free time as
this
 activity will be beneficial to themselves
as well as
 society in various ways. The youngsters are the founders of any nation.
Thus
, their development during school and college highly depends on their social
work
 towards the local people. In order for them to learn moral values and social roles, their support and assistance are significantly required for society during vacations or weekends and definitely,
such
 volunteering service should be done without payment.
Moreover
, it has been noticed that those
teenagers
 are involved in
community
work
, they realize and understand the meaning of unity, bonding and behaviour abilities and create self-interest to help someone without any greed.
In addition
, It is obvious that both the
community
 and
teenagers
 have some advantages.
Firstly
,
teenagers
 will learn so many new things which will develop them strongly and they will realize the value of respect and the importance of social service.
On the other hand
, the
community
 will get support from the young blood with new ideas and technology will make their life easy, comfortable and convenient. In some parts of India, many youngsters explain to the farmers how they can keep simple accounts and day-to-day business through the computer Excel sheet.
As a result
, many farmers now efficiently
work
 and manage the account effectively. In conclusion, I totally agree that each and every teenager should do unpaid
community
work
 as and when they get free time as
this
 will surely build them the vital skills of life by understanding the requirements of needy people and at the same time the
community
 will
also
 get benefits from
this
.
Submitted by ahv on

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introduction
Although the introduction clearly states the main argument, refining it to be more engaging and concise can provide a stronger start. Consider briefly outlining the main points you will discuss.
logical structure
To improve the logical flow, consider using more transition words or phrases to clearly connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
relevant specific examples
More detailed specific examples can enhance your argument further. Try to provide at least one additional example that illustrates how community work benefits both teenagers and society.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument well.
supported main points
The main points are supported with relevant examples and practical scenarios, such as the example of teenagers helping farmers in India.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas in the essay are clearly explained and showcase a genuine understanding of how community work benefits both teenagers and society.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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