IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Caring of children is an important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take training courses. Do you agree or disagree?

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Caring for
children
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 is crucial in society building, and
parents
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 should be capable of
this
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 responsibility. I totally agree with taking courses on how to be efficient in raising
children
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.
Children
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 are the seeds of our community; they are our future. If
parents
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 fail to prepare them well, their teachings will negatively affect the community, as
children
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 are the driving force for the nation's change.
Parents
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 should be well-prepared before having
children
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. They should take lessons and be role models for their kids. Proper caregiving will improve
children
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's mental and
behavioral
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behavioural
show examples
 development, preparing them to be good
parents
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 in the future.
For instance
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, clever students in school often reflect the attention and care they receive from their
parents
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.
Additionally
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,
parents
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 should be financially capable of meeting their
children
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's needs,
such
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 as education and nutrition.
Furthermore
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, the bond between
parents
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 and
children
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 is significant in child care, facilitating better communication and understanding. In conclusion,
children
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 are the seeds of
this
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 nation, and good seeds will produce good plants.
Therefore
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,
parents
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 must be well-trained and suitable for
this
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 important role.Being a parent is a heavy responsibility; not everyone can be a parent.
Thus
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, the role of
parents
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 is vital in human life.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph addresses a single clear point and supports it with evidence or examples. This will enhance clarity and understanding for the reader.
task achievement
Expand on relevant specific examples to support your arguments. This strengthens your position and provides concrete evidence for your points.
coherence cohesion
Consider dividing the essay into more distinct paragraphs to enhance readability and structure. Each main idea should have its paragraph introduced by a topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion which help to frame the argument well.
task achievement
You have a strong focus on the significance of parenting in society, and you consistently reinforce this throughout your essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • equip (verb): to provide with necessary tools or skills
  • cater (verb): to attend to someone's needs or requirements
  • development stages (noun): specific times during a child's growth when certain physical or psychological changes occur
  • nutrition (noun): the process of providing or receiving the food necessary for health and growth
  • foster (verb): to promote the growth or development of something
  • mandatory (adjective): required by law or rules
  • infringement (noun): the action of limiting or undermining something
  • practicality (noun): the quality or state of being practical or realistic
  • accessibility (noun): the quality of being easy to obtain or use
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