IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#bar #ten #countries #production #consumption #electricity #summerize #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart depicts the top ten countries for the making and using of electricity in 2014. Generally speaking,
it is clear that
Linking Words
China
Use synonyms
 has the highest rate and took the lead in
both
Use synonyms
 fields, followed by the United States which took second
place
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the lowest in
both
Use synonyms
 production and consumption is Korea. Rep. At first glance,
China
Use synonyms
 was the leading country in
both
Use synonyms
 categories, with 5,398
billion
Use synonyms
 kWh made and 5,322
billion
Use synonyms
 usages. Following
China
Use synonyms
, the United States placed 2nd
place
Use synonyms
 with up to 4000
billion
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
 producing and consuming electricity . Next up was Russia in 3rd
place
Use synonyms
, with just around 1000
billion
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
 categories. Continuingly Japan and India, do not differ much in numbers of production and usage.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the other countries from 6th
place
Use synonyms
, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Canada to the
last
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
, Korea,
Rep
Correct word choice
and Rep
show examples
 are not much of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different in close comparison.
To sum up
Linking Words
, two of the countries,
China
Use synonyms
 and the US are the main producers
as well as
Linking Words
 consumers of electricity.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 Russia at 3rd
place
Use synonyms
 and Korea
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is in 10th
place
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words china, both, place, billion with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • electricity production
  • electricity consumption
  • measured in gigawatt-hours (GWh)
  • top ten countries
  • discrepancy
  • consumption levels
  • production levels
  • leading producers
  • leading consumers
  • notable differences
  • account for
  • rank
  • close behind
  • marginally higher
  • significant gap
  • roughly equal
  • substantially more
  • significantly less
  • outstrip
  • conversely
What to do next:
Look at other essays: