At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, comparedd with the number of the older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the advantages?
A demographic situation is one of the crucial indicators of a
society
structure. We can illustrate it using a population age pyramid. Some people believe that a large percentage of young people Change noun form
society's
of
the population is Change preposition
in
the
favourable factor for a country. I partly agree with the statement, we will discuss Correct article usage
a
this
question further
.
To begin
with the advantages. The more adolescents there are, the more workers there will be in the future. For example
, thus
we will have more industrial enterprises hence
we will have got
a strong economy when teenagers go to work. Verb problem
apply
Moreover
, we will have more consumers therefore
a trade turnover will grow. Society can solve more miscellaneous problems inasmuch as we will be able to teach more unique specialists such
as scientists, doctors, and programmers. For example
, Chine
has become a regional superpower using Correct your spelling
China
their
vast population. Correct pronoun usage
its
Also
, old people need a pension and it is the
burden on the budget.
To continue with the disadvantages. The world Correct article usage
a
becomes
more automated Wrong verb form
has become
hence
the numbers
of workplaces Fix the agreement mistake
number
reduces
. If Wrong verb form
has reduced
economy
isn't managed very cleverly, joblessness will break out and it can be a cause of Add an article
the economy
irrevesible
aftermaths. Correct your spelling
irreversible
irrevocable
For instance
, a reason of
many revolutions was Change preposition
for
an
adolescent unemployment. Remove the article
apply
Besides
, they are inclined to radical ideas and it can be dangerous for society. Additionally
, life may become less comfortable because
a shortage of housing, overpopulated cities, and ecological problems.
In conclusion, I believe that government must aspire to improve Add the preposition
because of
a
birthrate, but they should take into account the global trends and opine about the future employment market.Correct article usage
the
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general
Be careful with word choice and ensure that words are used correctly in context. For instance, 'to illustrate' might be more appropriate than 'demonstrate' in some contexts.
general
Work on improving grammatical accuracy. Minor errors such as 'adolescents' vs. 'young adults' and 'thus' vs. 'therefore' can make the writing seem less polished.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and flow. Combining shorter sentences into more complex ones when appropriate can add sophistication to your essay.
task achievement
Try to develop each point more fully to make your argument more compelling. For example, include more details about how a large young population can have both positive and negative impacts.
coherence cohesion
You clearly organized your essay with distinct sections for advantages and disadvantages, which helps the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Good job on providing relevant examples to support your points, such as the reference to China as a regional superpower.
task response
Your conclusion effectively sums up your argument and provides a balanced perspective, which is important for a higher task response score.