In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue can be solved?

#countries #animals #plants

There is no denying the fact that

animals

and

plants

are the most significant resources for living.

While

it is a commonly held belief that the figure of

plants

and

animals

is decreasing. In my opinion, I consider that the reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

the issue

Change the verb form

are

show examples

two things ,which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

global

climate

,and hunting.

To begin

with, killing

animals

In other

words

Add a comma

words,

show examples

hunting can make

a huge changes

Correct the article-noun agreement

a huge change

huge changes

show examples

in the food triangle,

animals

take up half of the triangle in the system, but when hunters

started

Wrong verb form

start

show examples

killing

animals

the food supplies

are starting

Wrong verb form

start

show examples

to diminish.

In addition

, rear

animals

began to disappear.

For example

, there was research on the topic, and scientists found that 30% of the rare

animals

started to decline since the hunters began to kill without knowing the

values

Fix the agreement mistake

value

show examples

of these

animals

, and the solution was to

animals

protection by putting

the

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

animals

a reserves

Correct the article-noun agreement

reserves

a reserve

show examples

. Another point to consider, the global

climate

is slows

Change the verb form

slows

show examples

down the

plants

. It is

also

possible to say that

global

Correct article usage

the global

show examples

climate

is slows

Change the verb form

slows

show examples

down

plants

Change the noun form

plant

show examples

production and

also

helps the poisoned

plants

to appear.

Moreover

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

global

climate

is dries

plants

For instance

, in

japan

Capitalize word

Japan

show examples

in 1980 there was

drought

Add an article

a drought

show examples

in rice

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, that

cost

Verb problem

caused

show examples

food destruction among the Japanese and until now

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

scientists

did

Verb problem

have

show examples

not

find

Wrong verb form

found

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

solution to

solve

Verb problem

apply

show examples

this

problem. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that If all the people knew about

this

issue it

will helps

Wrong verb form

would help

show examples

to decrease

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hunting and the global

climate

Submitted by alaa5942005 on Fri Jul 05 2024

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Task response

The introduction should be clearer and provide a more concise thesis statement. Additionally, the conclusion should summarize the main points more effectively.

Coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical flow. Improve transitions between ideas and sections.

Task response

Elaborate on points with more specific details and examples to illustrate each argument effectively. Ensure you explain how the solutions can be implemented.

Task response

The essay addresses the task prompt and provides reasons for the decline of animals and plants.

Task response

Some relevant examples are used to support the points made in the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecosystem
urbanization
deforestation
agricultural expansion
pollution control
greenhouse gas emissions
renewable energy
sustainable practices
overexploitation
invasive species
conservation
quarantine measures
eradication programs
public awareness campaigns
habitat destruction
climate change
natural habitats
species decline

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