A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is a debatable notion that some
people
believe that animals
should be treated as well as
humans, while
some argue with this
opinion and they
see that Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
should exploit animals
to meet their needs and demands. This
essay will highlight the merits and demerits both of views in the following paragraphs as well as
state my opinion toward
Change preposition
on
this
controversial topic.
On the one hand, the increasing
Replace the word
increase
of
Change preposition
in
world's
estimated population has led to a crucial global concern in Correct article usage
the world's
food
supply. to illustrate Add an article
the food
this
, many countries suffer from insufficient food
especially
those countries associated with poverty. Add the comma(s)
, especially
Therefore
, people
around the world
need to consume animals
as an important source of their daily food
consumption. Although
many companies and manufacturers rely on their products and brands for animal production, they employ animals
under the World
Council regulations and laws. for example
, pharmaceutical companies have used animals
in conducting their research in order to discover and create new therapeutic medications and technologies. Therefore
, for safety issues
they cannot utilise humans in their Add a comma
issues,
trials
direct
without going through the experiments on Replace the word
directly
animals
. Furthermore
, Trials
conduct
on Wrong verb form
are conducted
animals
first because animals
' tissues and organs are similar to humans so the trials
will showed
a high level of integrity and safety Change the verb form
show
as well as
the results not harming participants later. For all these reasons mentioned above, we should address the issue of using animals
and we should find another source can
compensate Correct pronoun usage
that can
our
demands Change preposition
for our
of
Change preposition
on
animals
such
as using other types of proteins and discover
another technique to use Wrong verb form
discovering
it
in Correct pronoun usage
apply
trials
.
On the other hand
, many legal committee
and councils around the Fix the agreement mistake
committees
world
have raise
the right to treat Change the verb form
raised
animals
and they implement
many policies and rules to overcome Wrong verb form
have implemented
this
issue, so mankind should obey to
Change preposition
apply
this rule
for Fix the agreement mistake
these rules
animals
' safety and existence. To explain more, using animals
in producing dairy food
or conducting research should be limited and monitored as long as we ensure that we did
not harm Wrong verb form
do
animals
or cause them extinct. So that's why some people
argue for using animals
in human demands.
To sum up
, I firmly believe that we may take benefits of using animals
on both sides of food
consumption and research fields but this
should be in restricted procedure and follow global law in order to save their lives and existence as well as
ensure their rights.Submitted by ghadeer_lab on
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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your arguments. Currently, transitions between ideas can be a bit abrupt. Ensuring smoother transitions can help in making the argument clearer and more coherent.
task achievement
Some of the points, especially regarding the use of animals in pharmaceutical research, are a bit unclear and could be better explained. Ensuring that your arguments are comprehensive and well-explained will enhance the essay's clarity.
task achievement
Add more relevant examples to support your main points. Specific examples provide a stronger foundation for your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed.
introduction conclusion present
A conclusion is present and neatly summarizes your opinion on the topic, which is crucial for Task 2 essays.
complete response
The essay addresses both viewpoints on the topic, ensuring a balanced discussion which is essential for a high score in Task Achievement.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.