A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is a debatable notion that some
people
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believe that
animals
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should be treated
as well as
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humans,
while
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some argue with
this
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opinion and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
see that
people
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should exploit
animals
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to meet their needs and demands.
This
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essay will highlight the merits and demerits both of views in the following paragraphs
as well as
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state my opinion
toward
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on
show examples
this
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controversial topic. On the one hand, the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
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of
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in
show examples
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world's
Correct article usage
the world's
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estimated population has led to a crucial global concern in
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food
Add an article
the food
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supply. to illustrate
this
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, many countries suffer from insufficient
food
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especially
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, especially
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those countries associated with poverty.
Therefore
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,
people
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around the
world
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need to consume
animals
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as an important source of their daily
food
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consumption.
Although
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many companies and manufacturers rely on their products and brands for animal production, they employ
animals
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under the
World
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Council regulations and laws.
for example
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, pharmaceutical companies have used
animals
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in conducting their research in order to discover and create new therapeutic medications and technologies.
Therefore
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, for safety
issues
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issues,
show examples
they cannot utilise humans in their
trials
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direct
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directly
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without going through the experiments on
animals
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.
Furthermore
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,
Trials
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conduct
Wrong verb form
are conducted
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on
animals
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first because
animals
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' tissues and organs are similar to humans so the
trials
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will
showed
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show
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a high level of integrity and safety
as well as
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the results not harming participants later. For all these reasons mentioned above, we should address the issue of using
animals
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and we should find another source
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
compensate
our
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for our
show examples
demands
of
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on
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
such
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as using other types of proteins and
discover
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discovering
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another technique to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
trials
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.
On the other hand
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, many legal
committee
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committees
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and councils around the
world
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have
raise
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raised
show examples
the right to treat
animals
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and they
implement
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have implemented
show examples
many policies and rules to overcome
this
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issue, so mankind should obey
to
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apply
show examples
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this rule
Fix the agreement mistake
these rules
show examples
for
animals
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' safety and existence. To explain more, using
animals
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in producing dairy
food
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or conducting research should be limited and monitored as long as we ensure that we
did
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do
show examples
not harm
animals
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or cause them extinct. So that's why some
people
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argue for using
animals
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in human demands.
To sum up
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, I firmly believe that we may take benefits of using
animals
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on both sides of
food
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consumption and research fields but
this
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should be in restricted procedure and follow global law in order to save their lives and existence
as well as
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ensure their rights.
Submitted by ghadeer_lab on

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your arguments. Currently, transitions between ideas can be a bit abrupt. Ensuring smoother transitions can help in making the argument clearer and more coherent.
task achievement
Some of the points, especially regarding the use of animals in pharmaceutical research, are a bit unclear and could be better explained. Ensuring that your arguments are comprehensive and well-explained will enhance the essay's clarity.
task achievement
Add more relevant examples to support your main points. Specific examples provide a stronger foundation for your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed.
introduction conclusion present
A conclusion is present and neatly summarizes your opinion on the topic, which is crucial for Task 2 essays.
complete response
The essay addresses both viewpoints on the topic, ensuring a balanced discussion which is essential for a high score in Task Achievement.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Exploitation
  • Animal welfare
  • Ethical treatment
  • Vegetarianism
  • Veganism
  • Cognitive dissonance
  • Humane
  • Live stock
  • Cruelty-free
  • Bioethics
  • Conservation
  • Habitat preservation
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Animal testing
  • Synthetic biology
  • Genetic engineering
  • Speciesism
  • Animal husbandry
  • Sustainable farming
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